tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74329957388436902242024-03-06T03:25:45.228-05:00Ratology ReloadedAt the very beginning, there was Ratopia. Then, there's ratology. In ratology, we observe whether psychotic and neurotic people could amount to something. Then came the spinal disc herniation and impingement, bringing forth the stage of physical disability. Could someone like me go anywhere or amount to anything is the question. After the official ending of the second psychotic episode lasted for five years, I am ready to move on to the next phase of Ratology- as the solutions unfold.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1960125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-58079968977644878052023-02-15T08:41:00.001-05:002023-02-15T08:41:22.433-05:00New York New YorkAfter years of waiting, I finally get back to the New York City. Nice to be back to be a New Yorker.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-83528892521255046862023-01-19T06:01:00.001-05:002023-01-26T05:17:19.154-05:00My favorite child<p>I am single as a bird without children. How on earth do I get to have a favorite child? :-O</p><p><br /></p><p>The books are my children. I put in all too much everything in them all. Whether they are good or bad from others' perspective, my children are the best and my favorite child is <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Ratology-Evolutions-Psychotic-Psychosis-Revelation-ebook/dp/B0B88FZVZC" target="_blank">Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis</a>. It's the thinnest book amongst all and, perchance, the hardest one to read.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/411dqm942eL.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="314" height="375" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/411dqm942eL.jpg" width="236" /></a></div><br /><p>So why is it my favorite? I had a most difficult birth coming up with a model about my psychosis while I was, in real life, institutionalizable grade of psychotic with bad bad bad side effects of Seroquel. Also, my head refrained me from doing literature review with the target participants as schizophrenic or psychotic. Ya, and believe or not, my head also set limits on how munch time I could work per day. Under the unfathomable restraints, I managed to come up with a, by default, imperfect model about my psychosis ... imperfect but done. Also, I didn't write myself all the way back to the psychiatric ward.</p><p><br /></p><p>And, today, for my favorite child, I asked this professor of mine, who is a cognitive psychologist, whether he could read my model book and provide me with some feedback ... and if I could better the model, would he mind writing a foreword for it.</p><p><br /></p><p>I can do only what I could do. Shall God ask me to make such a request, just gotta do it, I guess.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-82802473187689296422023-01-12T06:04:00.005-05:002023-01-12T06:05:15.169-05:00When could I halt<p>Thou shall halt is what I heard when I put the mouse on this textbox where I am doing the typing thing.</p><p><br /></p><p>I was about to complain about God and now I have gotten the authorization. Yes, psychotic does psychotic does. Ain't no doubt about that.</p><p><br /></p><p>So I ask, <i>to halt from what</i>?</p><p><br /></p><p>From everything involving the books. Yes, just like what that Lord Byron said, "What is wri, is wri! Would it were worthier!" I have done my due diligence coming up with four imperfect books. I have been trying to introduce to more people about them, hoping to see destigmatization as the light at the end of the tunnel. Yet, perhaps that is not my job to market the books, to promote my ideas, and to rid the stigma once and for all.</p><p><br /></p><p>I am a documenter and I did my duty. The whole thing had taken the better part of my years and I could not do it all alone no more. </p><p><br /></p><p>Perhaps, I can just sit back and see whether I could make a ripple or not.</p><p><br /></p><p>The thought itself relaxes and destresses me so.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thanks God for authorizing me to halt.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-5409834777833830222023-01-09T05:21:00.008-05:002023-01-09T05:50:52.905-05:00Fear<p> God told me that I can get rid of this body suit that's handicapped both in the head and the body.</p><p><br /></p><p>Yes. That is the deal.</p><p><br /></p><p>Now that I have finished publishing all books and tried my best to market the books, where is my time to rest in peace? Instead, I am stuck with this sleep disorder that makes me wake up every one or two hours.</p><p><br /></p><p>Have I been deceived by heaven? OMG ... where is the promised good death?! I am waiting and now fear is overwhelming me ... how come I am not dead yet?! :-X</p><p><br /></p><p>This is almost like the apocalypse episode all over again.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-8442383431569958532023-01-09T05:02:00.001-05:002023-01-09T05:02:44.283-05:00Sharing<p>Since my psychotic books were published, I have been trying hard to spread the words but to no avail.</p><p><br /></p><p>I never have the illusion that my books would turn to be best sellers that would make me filthy rich. However, I do have the wish that the books could reach people and help to make a difference on how people view mental health issues. </p><p><br /></p><p>It is my intent though this intent doesn't seem to be going far. It is very self-defeating a reality.</p><p><br /></p><p>Then, today, when I went to the hospital to do my physical therapy, this therapist, who had seen my book Broadened Horizons and whom I had told that the book is based on my experience as a schizophrenic, said to me, "Thank you for sharing."</p><p><br /></p><p>I suddenly felt a sense of relief.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-49093571257679114052022-12-15T05:59:00.005-05:002022-12-15T06:01:19.084-05:00Reading group<p>In light of the inertia of getting people to start reading my book, I decided to start a Line reading group.</p><p><br /></p><p>I have been going back to read Broadened Horizons and try to provided the key points in writing for each chapter and so on. Hoping it might make it easier for my ESL cohorts to read.</p><p><br /></p><p>After the initial testing phase, it has come to my attention that I am the person making postings 99.9% of the time.</p><p><br /></p><p>Oops. Whatever could I try?</p><p><br /></p><p>God knows ... and since it's my belief that it's God or something alike that made me write the books. God or something else ... I am waiting for your recommendation. What good are these books for if they cannot spread the words?</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-57677047820040387042022-11-29T05:56:00.003-05:002022-11-29T06:36:28.439-05:00Update on the books<p>Given the amount of time, energy, and money I wasted away to get the books out, of course I would prefer everyone to buy all my books in the series, read them all; get something out of them; and spread the words. However, based on the information I gathered so far, only limited number of people have started the reading process. Oh oh ....</p><p><br /></p><p>By the way, before you buy books, you might want to check out the content. With Amazon.com, you have the choice of either downloading a sample kindle book or click on "Look inside" to preview a segment of the book using the browser. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-71139776375805251762022-11-02T07:20:00.011-04:002022-12-15T05:25:23.102-05:00My psychotic books and learning/teachingWho is your audience? I have been asked about this question a gazillion and a times. Anyone could be the audience of my psychotic books. <br /><br />The question I have in mind nowadays is "how can my psychotic books be used as supplementary teaching/learning materials?" Following is an example.<br /><br /><b>Broadened Horizons: On Psychotic Onsets</b>--Basic level. This book is suited for introductory courses such as Abnormal Psychology or psychopathology at the undergraduate and graduate levels. <br /><br /><div><b>Blows: Polar Express to Club Meds (aka Psychiatric Ward)</b>--Basic+ level. This book is suited for readers with a basic understanding of or interest in psychopathology and qualitative research.<br /><br /><br /><b>Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis</b>--Higher level. This book contains quite a bit of jargons and it would work best for readers with or would like to have an understanding of developmental psychology, cognitive psychology, and neuropsychology. <br /><br /><br /><b>Ratology database: My Psychotic Discourse (Abridged)</b>--Basic level. This book contains my writings from the onset to my third hospitalization. The contents could be used for training in qualitative research with real-life data. An example project would be the book "Blows: Polar Express to Club Meds (aka Psychiatric Ward)."</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-75112180854213586762022-10-15T05:06:00.003-04:002022-10-15T05:41:01.223-04:00The drawing on the cover of Ratology database<div style="text-align: left;"> Why is this psychotic rat (aka I) so happy? <br /> <br />The answer is in the title of the book <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Ratology-database-Psychotic-Discourse-Revelation-ebook/dp/B0BFKBWF6C" target="_blank">Ratology database</a>.</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i>As a researcher, I love data. I am a data freak. Though I'd prefer not to be the contributor of the data, there is nothing wrong to find them data precious.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Be happy, ratprincess!</div><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMt6jtWUwTtSk9KmafzfH3n_mSEnHCN8fiuVM4OStFRkwpHxzUQEo65POZkkmPXIVsL2mQ9pQFK1zwArEhySM7UnWYMhpVEY42MSaM9JuzsnFCSOP1iBlZveZMrUBkiSi1WHN8zzkLtOi4lnNC2E_9dNchKA2C-XOERVU9Jw4dw-Ptp3oCxA8uepV9/s2680/happy%20rat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2129" data-original-width="2680" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMt6jtWUwTtSk9KmafzfH3n_mSEnHCN8fiuVM4OStFRkwpHxzUQEo65POZkkmPXIVsL2mQ9pQFK1zwArEhySM7UnWYMhpVEY42MSaM9JuzsnFCSOP1iBlZveZMrUBkiSi1WHN8zzkLtOi4lnNC2E_9dNchKA2C-XOERVU9Jw4dw-Ptp3oCxA8uepV9/s320/happy%20rat.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-68109012048616978912022-10-13T07:18:00.003-04:002022-10-15T05:41:31.864-04:00The drawing on the cover of Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis<p>This drawing, inspired by Chagall's style, is on the cover of my model book <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B88FZVZC" target="_blank">Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis</a></i>. </p><p><br /></p><p>The little houses on the ground represent the thoughts emerged throughout the years. Futile attempts you might say. Yet, on the upper leftside of the drawing, we see ratprincess flying to reach a star. The star is the ultimate goal--the building of my own model of how my psychosis works. </p><p><br /></p><p>My model is, like the drawing, imperfect and some might consider it appallingly atrocious. However it might be judged; I've done my due diligence and got the star. </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfilOUR_yPo_LPK_rEWomTmI1xQ-RcViqbxjEUfdOmXnR6Uvj5lF436-u4mA7hDM-rArKDnx0P42UvbZTti4Yf5fXY6wTmH_QMVF2E0MoF63MhdBwhXaf9E_BHNM-9bX7DMSa0kOCOzC3oP2haEJG6Cuw9LzUXuL4TC9X3YhVz_zH5mGGSfKW1dO66/s1886/star.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1149" data-original-width="1886" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfilOUR_yPo_LPK_rEWomTmI1xQ-RcViqbxjEUfdOmXnR6Uvj5lF436-u4mA7hDM-rArKDnx0P42UvbZTti4Yf5fXY6wTmH_QMVF2E0MoF63MhdBwhXaf9E_BHNM-9bX7DMSa0kOCOzC3oP2haEJG6Cuw9LzUXuL4TC9X3YhVz_zH5mGGSfKW1dO66/s320/star.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-1386192189602467192022-10-13T06:44:00.003-04:002022-10-15T05:42:02.884-04:00The drawing on the cover of Blows<div style="text-align: left;">I drew this in the psychiatric ward, which is in the building of the New York Psychiatric Institute.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />There are two ratprincesses in this drawing. One sits on a rainbow below the walker while the other, locked up in a purple cage. In the background is the view of the Jersey shore across the Hudson River.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I find it to be a perfect drawing for the book <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BDFSZCF4" target="_blank">Blows</a></i> because I <b>was</b> in excruciating pain with a walker in the psychiatric ward. </div><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmm4x4hoFZK5IVy9sJu7Y59tcf6Y0zr1Wr2f3a29bTC-sTEvTjYW2sDQAXZXnPg-VFhBUDY4YoeJjbPchZFDknmee8jYHM3qfPOUf3GLS5zLc6VuvUglx2_TrAeUebOiqFPmzF_iCqzmgRAq8r2u2jDyVk7WC3DmS4qSAubrSOV92qKLitm0R5LaQ/s1200/realitys.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="930" data-original-width="1200" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmm4x4hoFZK5IVy9sJu7Y59tcf6Y0zr1Wr2f3a29bTC-sTEvTjYW2sDQAXZXnPg-VFhBUDY4YoeJjbPchZFDknmee8jYHM3qfPOUf3GLS5zLc6VuvUglx2_TrAeUebOiqFPmzF_iCqzmgRAq8r2u2jDyVk7WC3DmS4qSAubrSOV92qKLitm0R5LaQ/s320/realitys.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-21308384178458479762022-10-12T07:00:00.005-04:002022-10-15T05:42:34.589-04:00The drawing on the cover of Broadened Horizons<div style="text-align: left;"><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Broadened-Horizons-Psychotic-Revelation-Psychosis/dp/6260104871" target="_blank">Broadened Horizons</a> </i>is a book addressing the topic of psychotic onsets.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Artistic am I not though I did draw this picture in the psychiatric ward.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Take a look at ratprincess. Where she stands now is everything familiar and shared with others--a house with chimney, mountains behind the house, a rainbow, clouds in the sky. and the sun. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> <br />With a basket in hand, ratprincess is getting ready to cross over the river to pick up something new whilst not shared with the others. Her psychosis.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglC3i3vupba1RTkzPA45umq-Xx6mhAvqhIU42JxWZnTejOHDCHEEk0TYQFVzx6vjf_XN5Y3_zUsml0aExGk9Twks85fA7jHwUzZufpMUUppue16B6ZiF3-c70pxxBVPkWPEMzyp3HDq7grYr_19V5GSaNa610-Gmwqc4IdQQurrrz3kklWHgqpIBO9/s1200/houses.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="920" data-original-width="1200" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglC3i3vupba1RTkzPA45umq-Xx6mhAvqhIU42JxWZnTejOHDCHEEk0TYQFVzx6vjf_XN5Y3_zUsml0aExGk9Twks85fA7jHwUzZufpMUUppue16B6ZiF3-c70pxxBVPkWPEMzyp3HDq7grYr_19V5GSaNa610-Gmwqc4IdQQurrrz3kklWHgqpIBO9/s320/houses.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-5937403200586713272022-10-10T05:46:00.000-04:002022-10-10T05:46:27.960-04:00Love you my cranberry Kevin<p> Just heard this bad news ... my friend Cranberry Kevin passed away two weeks ago. People have to stop dropping. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-51575334206915942392022-10-06T19:50:00.005-04:002022-10-06T19:54:38.948-04:00The original URL of Down with Meds--A Revelation of Ratology<p>After I deleted my old blog "Down with Meds--A Revelation of Ratology" due to the command of my delusions and hallucinations, the URL for the blog became unavailable. Then, in 2011, I found out it was available again and grabbed it immediately.</p><p><a href="http://ratology.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"> http://ratology.blogspot.com/</a></p><p><br /></p><p>An abridged and proofed version of the old blog is in the Ratology Database book.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-27660074950904239212022-10-05T07:49:00.013-04:002022-11-14T06:59:42.041-05:00Ratology Books are finally out in both eBook and paperback formats<p>Because I could not find publishers to publish my books, I decided to publish my books by myself through Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing.</p><p><br /></p><p>It was not a process as easy as I had imagined, partially because I kept finding errors of all sorts. Also, every time I made a change, I would have to wait for at least 24 hours for the changes to show up or to make further modifications. </p><p><br /></p><p>At some point, my head decided that it is good enough and I don't have to find faults in my books no more.</p><p><br /></p><p>Please click on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BGCZWR58">https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BGCZWR58</a> to check out my personal profile and my books. And if you wish, please purchase a book or two or the entire series. I would suggest the ebooks since it is more environmentally friendly. Your purchase would be totally appreciated. :-D</p><p><br /></p><p>Following are my Author page and the page for my series "Mad Pride: the Revelation of my Psychosis."</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B0BGCZWR58" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Author page" border="0" data-original-height="944" data-original-width="1080" height="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSQmKF-Te4x4NwRmFCeGOzCc63BsFE_d_pzkf-R36eeoMxiFvzFEsgPqK3qohfiZq5TdyQnDtvRTTOIjLw3P0ccrto3x49SpqWCDpc6Fr7pVhCVf4DjGE2od20qeuIJzeO2zDeH50JDI9aGxbDVeAbOZAPG5cZI-ODmOPDQP9zbKGXgOkCxK_uFYR8/w640-h560/authorpage.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B9L8WX6P" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="949" data-original-width="790" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZe-2Px1uNp_SYnIQTYP2CBNBCnrZPlfXosfz-MCruhjRd-JMOk_F1b7f9iBUW4i6Y-uW-lXymUj6zcR4vhswmUutRc9YmisWVkcVRpw6IQYefQgq0YRxdwLpsZmODfLuIvNfJWIrZKfGsiS1qGS64tj_KGSBcFR9U7eyGLOF-GrZFd961hjPxJw_b/w532-h640/series.jpg" width="532" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>So, I can finally claim now that I am a writer who has published a series of 4 books.</p><p><br /></p><p>The question is, in order to help people, people have to read my books. So far, 0 copies sold. lol :-X</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-86208825237794128162022-08-22T06:08:00.010-04:002022-10-06T19:31:04.150-04:00Ratology Books<p>Finally, my head authorized it.</p><p>My books, which I have devoted my life to write, can be published and I can make postings in this blog.</p><p><br /></p><p>The first book I published is the model book (self-publishing unfortunately).</p><b>Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis</b><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B88FZVZC" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B88FZVZC</a></p><p><br /></p><p>The psychotic onset book is on sale already even though I am still trying to get the paperback version out.</p><b>Broadened Horizons: On Psychotic Onsets</b><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BBD9Y9V5" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BBD9Y9V5</a> </p><p><br /></p><p><span style="color: #800180;">And, yes, <b>Ratprincess</b>'s name is <b>Yaowen Chang</b>.</span></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-20056755532103483412021-01-19T08:20:00.007-05:002022-10-06T19:32:46.535-04:00Amnesia<p> I have been experiencing bouts of amnisia after a good nite or two of partying. I had two long island tea and will down another one or two glasses of red wine without fm2 as the sleeping aid. </p><p><br /></p><p>Let me see how it goes tomorrow.</p><p><br /></p><p>Ya, yet another inconvenience from some kind of intervention.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-1940174072510992962020-10-27T08:25:00.008-04:002022-10-06T19:34:42.774-04:00Unterwegs zur EEG<p>EEG stands for Electroencephalogram. It's a diagnostic test for detections of abnormal brain-wave activities.</p><p><br /></p><p>Since my brain has begun the shrinking process, the EEG ordered by my neurologist might be a follow-up test. </p><p><br /></p><p>Regardless, life goes on and, like Rome, the shrinkage did not get built in one day.</p><p><br /></p><p>One thing I can't stop wondering is whether my sleeping problem (i.e., waking up every 1-2 hours after FM2 puts me down for the initial 3-4 hours, and sometimes less) is linked to the shrinking process of that atrophying brain of mine. </p><p><br /></p><p>Here is an example study showing that I am not the only person having this question.</p><p><br /></p><p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4162301/">https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4162301/</a></p><p><br /></p><p>P.S., Theoretically, my cohorts should not exhibit the atrophy as a result of the aging process yet.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-84072894246183684862020-10-20T08:32:00.001-04:002022-10-06T19:36:35.924-04:00Brain shrinkage--ya, moi<p> I know the day would come all along and it is finally here--there is shrinkage in my brain, only a bit over 2 decades after the onset.</p><p><br /></p><p>During a regular check up, my complaints led my neurologist and me to revisit the MRI scans taken in my head. Yet, it's not as bad as a brain for elderlies in the 80s or 90s as a result of the natural progression of aging. </p><p><br /></p><p>It's been a while since I made a posting.</p><p><br /></p><p>Hope this is what is worth reporting. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-28029609286975684642020-01-13T08:51:00.002-05:002020-01-13T08:51:55.994-05:00SOS --- Help needed to publish my four books<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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All four books are done and what I need to do is to get them published and distributed.<br />
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It's imposing far more stress than I can handle especially after mom passed away and my head condition exacerbated.<br />
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Send me an angel ... whatever there is.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-69275692532367071342019-11-13T08:49:00.000-05:002019-11-13T08:49:05.387-05:00What to do about mama<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Mama's been gone since March 11th this year. However, there is never a day when I do not hear her speaking to me and feel her presence.<br />
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The "symptoms" ironically sooth and support me, who was already broken apart when she was still in the vegetative state in ICU.<br />
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I spoke with my shrink last week about accepting the BIG NO NO--believing that mama is my guardian angel and is holding this broken piece of junk together.<br />
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What might turn out? Time will tell.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-54043120098005797592019-05-31T09:48:00.003-04:002019-10-10T09:17:33.566-04:00My Mama<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My mom passed away on 3/11 due to ich and the collateral damages-- psychotic symptoms.<br />
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It is a long story. In short, I was to trash all four books. She, in a vegetative state, happened to squeeze my hands twice and I took it as a sign.<br />
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The story of her psychosis et. al. turned to be the end of my onset book.<br />
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Can't stop missing her.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-83031261471772214972018-09-29T11:18:00.001-04:002018-09-29T11:50:21.392-04:00Stuck at meta-psychosis - Here I Go Again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have been stuck at the notion of meta-psychosis for many days.<br />
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Something tells me that what I have written is still crap.<br />
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I need to find more evidence for the occurrence of meta-psychosis.<br />
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As a result,<br />
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Plowing through the dungeon of my own words, wishing for the mercy of the yester-me's to lead me an easy way to whatever could be a proof of meta-psychosis.<br />
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The story of my life ... here I go again ... digging through the end of <a href="https://ratologybk.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">DWM</a> one post after another.<br />
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So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-56673604332296422112018-08-16T11:17:00.000-04:002018-08-16T11:17:03.783-04:00Latuda <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
After switching to Solian from Seroquel for months, I am switching from Solian to Latuda again because Solian makes me cognitively even more constipated. This is no good since I have 2-3 hours available per day to use this head.<br />
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Today is the first day for me to go on Latuda. Had an early dinner and I took Latuda with my meal. Thereafter, I found myself more restless and keeping wanting to move. Guess that's the side effect.<br />
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How I hate dosage adjusting and switching drugs. sigh<br />
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Keep my fingers crossed. :-X</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7432995738843690224.post-29984569455877499322018-06-19T13:44:00.002-04:002018-06-19T13:44:59.608-04:00619 Anniversary<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The day I felt free from the collapsed chair was in NYC time 1-2 o'clock in the afternoon on June 19th. Interestingly, it was already June 20th in Taipei due to the around 12 hour or so time difference.<br />
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Today, I am still a handicap with invisible disabilities and burning candles at two ends trying to kick myself kicking at large.<br />
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So, this sleepwalker with Johnny Walker Green celebrated the anniversary!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0