At the very beginning, there was Ratopia. Then, there's ratology. In ratology, we observe whether psychotic and neurotic people could amount to something. Then came the spinal disc herniation and impingement, bringing forth the stage of physical disability. Could someone like me go anywhere or amount to anything is the question. After the official ending of the second psychotic episode lasted for five years, I am ready to move on to the next phase of Ratology- as the solutions unfold.
I spoke of the dry mouth many a moon... so dry that you feel the walls of your esophagus stick together... so dry that you can down pints and pints of water but, once you lay down... it's already dry...
Today I have lived through it and knock on wood...
The things that might have helped...
Pears
Dried pears
Apparently, some part of the chemical associated with pears help to retain the moisture and alleviate the symptoms.
In addition, since esophagus spasm occurred around the same time the dry mouth thing took place...
What I did for my esophagus spasm...
It was suspected that the esophagus spasm might have been associated with heart burn... though heartburn was not never a diagnosis in my dictionary... 8-O lol sigh
Thus, my doctor made me take some over-the-counter heartburn meds for two weeks.
Since some people suggested peppermint (oil), I also went and got myself some peppermint oil from the health food store.... mixing some drops in the water and drink it.
I don't know what worked and what worked not.
One thing I knew is that... something happened and hopefully they will not come back
A toast to the past and treat the not so easy past you would like to let go as a really bad hangover.... 8-O Nothing really to be proud of but that I know... bad hangovers... 8-O lol 8-X
So... 以茶代酒... I raise my cup of chamomile and lavender tea for a toast to a past I am forgoing.... especially the discard-able part of the past 3 years... the pains, suffering and struggles, which I am, maybe, finally, acknowledging... not to mention the cold air, esophagus spasm, the running a train station in my head and all other mental and physical conditions.
I am done suffering.... so suffering... go away.. go away... bad bad bad... go away... 8-O
My life from now on has to be simply joyful and happy since I think I am very much done with my quota. 8-O lol
God bless me, my house, all my family and all my lotteries. 8-O lol
One breakthrough in my coping mechanism with the symptoms (people could read my mind and I could sense their presence etc....)--> "I am not responsible for my psychotic symptoms." and "Who told your to invade my head without permission?"
Unfortunately, there is no standard interventions for my own symptoms. Some might work for a while and, all of a sudden, doesn't work. My coping so far... a constant processing of finding out the things that might work.
Taking symptoms such as people could read my mind and hear my thought thing...
You could tell yourself that... it is but your symptoms. Yet, good luck with that... if you could win it over this way, they wouldn't have been coined as pathological.
If you don't give a bag of beans about how others feel, you could simply run your mouth on and on at them "unauthorized intruders in your head." End results, other people might find it difficult to get your attention and find your head all flaky... This might be the same reason why, sometimes on the street, you hear people all of a sudden yelling at you for no good reason.
Yesterday, for instance, as I was walking down Broadway, this woman came towards me and yelled... "Keep on playing your game!!"
I went... "8-O you could see them people accessing my head without authorizations and you are actually speaking to them?" (So speak for the synergistic effect of putting two together... 8-O lol sigh)
At the same time, others might feel bad when not-so-nice thoughts would come into their head. They might feel bad that the not-so-nice thoughts might be known by other people and hurt their feelings.
This is one of my worst enemy... For the longest time, I felt bad when not so nice thoughts would emerge and might hurt the receivers' feelings.... and your know your condition is going down south when it goes from singular to plural because, when you start to feel the presence and hear the voices of many people, your head starts to reenact things like the three kingdoms... 8-O lol sigh
And this is the time when you have your meds up... like what I have to do.. with the minor inconveniences I have to face when going to bed... In addition to them symptoms who have a bad habit of showing up left and right in all forms while you let go of your cognitive control when trying to fall asleep, extremely dry mouth, the sensation of the esophagus getting all tightened up and the body jerking up and down in bed as if a life fish out of water on a chopping board....
Life used to be much easier... you pop the meds, it knocks you down and put your asleep. The worst thing could happen is for you to feel all dumb all days... none of them physical kinda stuffs... sigh
Then, the light ball went off earlier today and I realized that one way of responding to these kind of incidence is to say to myself...
"I have no control over my symptoms otherwise they will not be called pathological symptoms. In addition, my head is my head and who the hell are you to intrude my private thoughts... pathological or not. That should teach you a lesson being beaten up by my disordered thoughts left and right."
(Remember... the reason why symptoms are symptoms is because of the intrinsic bias patients have towards the disordered thinking.)
Then I thought of what that strange doctor of mine said to my over 2 years ago...
I could not understand what exactly I have to put down and, today, I bet, the doctor might have no idea either except for he simply knows that is what I have to do.
Since then, I have learned to let go of many things... although I am still not quite sure what I have to learn to let go.
The most recent thing that I learned to let go is to let go of the control over my symptoms... as mentioned in the previous part of the writing. I have to learn to let the symptoms to simply be symptoms while finding the least stressful way of reacting to them. (And, of course, it is easier to say than to do... react not...)
In addition, in my previous life, people mostly could not tell that there is anything not so normal about me... until the point of the accident when I fell free from a collapsing chair in sitting position.
From then on... till today... it is just a normal part of my life to walk abnormal and go into abnormal states. At this point, when it occurs... whether it is my limping around... sleep walking... experiencing excruciating pains migrating through my body as I take my walk ... etc... It is just the way it is so let it be. And, hopefully, if I let it run through... I will be able to walk out of it.... and luckily, I have been able to walk in and out of strange states so far....
Essentially, I am regressing back to the mean and simply need to fill the quota.... Nowadays, I am having a paradigm shift in my MO... pretending no more... trying no more to act like them people-- normal... though I still do have my boundary and though I have no idea what it really means to act normal. 8-O Somehow, something tells me that this is what it takes... I simply have to do it and get it over with.
Of course, God knows whether any of these thoughts are intuition or delusions... Everything shifts and morphs all the time... Along this line of thinking... I have given up trying to figure out how sane or insane I might be. Somehow... no need no more.... unless... insufficient cognitive capacity. In addition, the want to figure it out make you think and convoluted thinking drive you even nuttier.
In addition, this idea just came to me yesterday.... what about creative writing? 8-O
It had been my childhood dream... other than being a professor in the day time and a bartender in the night... as long as you don't ask me why... 8-O lol.... to go into clinical psychology...
And I tried many a year until life's finally led me to towards another path... to where I am today.... um... a lost soul in limbo... perhaps? 8-O lol oops...
Spoke with one of the first professor I had in New York today....
Spoke about my conditions etc...
Ya... ain't like I don't talk about it to people... you don't volunteer unless people ask... so we were told to do....
Anyways... the key point...
I had wanted to go into the field of clinical psychology in my younger years... for all reasons addressed so far in some parts of the writing....
Life seems to be pushing me further and further away from it while I could simply not escape from it however hard I try....
I bet everyone came to this field for a reason.... similar reason that pushes everyone towards whatever pursuit they might have in life.... regardless the field....
I had come across this book by this lady who is both a psychiatrist and a manic-depressive herself....
To be honest, that would be too much for me to take....
In addition, already a handful for myself to handle, believe me... I won't be able to walk too far shall I have gone into the field of mental health since that's one of the field of the highest rate of burned out rate. For instance, God bless them professionals who have to deal with a patient like me so far.... 8-O lol oops...
"Are you happy today?" So I was asked.
I am happy.
All about too close to home... since you are already at home, it is wonderful to live a life with what you love while dealing with them messiness at home... although I have no problem moving somewhere else.... since once a home forever a home... (sort of like what Chinese say... once a teacher forever a parent....) 8-O lol
I know it is different for everyone...
As of today, I have to say.... I am thankful that life has pushed me this way despite of the distaste for all them minor annoyances in life.... (such as that worry in the back of my head.... am I gonna get da esophageal spasm again tonight.... hopefully not... 150 mg night plus pear plus water plus Tums....)
And, by the way, 12 years ago, I first heard of the expression "ignorance is a bless" out of this classmate of mine in this prof's class.
I didn't understand it and thought the guy was pretty obnoxious.
Recently, it is an idea kept on coming back... true bless from God... ignorance is a bless.
What it be like... one of the lessons I needed to learn and took me so long to learn... ignorance is a bless....
When I was trying to fall asleep last night, I found the usual suspects reconvene again...
I laid there trying to fall asleep but can't fall asleep... while facing da hammering sound in the back ground of the right side of my head...
That sound I have no control over might have gotten me a scare because, thereafter, I found this sense of fear rising....
Could this hammering sound and da train station be alternative versions of auditory hallucinations? I don't know... Yet, they surely are distressing...
Then, that tightening of the esophagus thing came up again... Might have some thing to the merging sense of anxiety or did it?
Adding one more pillow seemed to work yet only so much... for... at some point, I was hit by da dry mouth thing again...
I got up, took a piece of dried peach, down some more of the water, resisted to pop da sleeping pill, and, went back to bed wishing the sleep will arrive eventually since I have to make it to my class today...
Although sleeping is essential in maintaining my health, especially mentally, I usually do not resort to sleeping pills unless I am tossing and turning for at least 2-3 hours in bed...
After getting up twice and some more tossing and turning with hammering in the head, esophagus spasm and extreme dry mouth on the side, I guess... I must have fell asleep since I did wake up this morning... 8-O lol sigh
Could I be overdosed again? I suspect but I am absolutely not sure since the dosage did get lowered less than 2 months ago... Yet, I do feel that I am walking around feeling much detached from the external world... which usually is an indicator for overdose....
At the same time, all these night time activities are starting to lead me to wonder... more...
Why the night time dramas of my boring life?
And, I thought of those days of Jackal and Hyde... when I was walking around looking like any ordinary person during the day but couldn't shake the habit of experiencing the delusional nightmare awake in the night....
Why in the night?
Why between awake and sleeping?
Could it be true all them psychoanalytical talks?
Could it be that part of my psychic is really being blocked so well that it could only have itself, in the night, when all control is let go, manifested?
Then I sat through the class... talking about segregation, desegregation and resegregation.... poverty and low SES....
Then I sat there hearing about the challenges involved in teaching when the learners speak no English...
And, with the scenarios presented, I saw in my mind this five-year-old being handcuffed-- taken to the precinct...
To myself I thought... I did wake up in the morning...
Although I am not working, everyday I go to work on schedule... It was an intuition that tells me to do so... (once for a change when I know da ist not delusions 8-O lol sigh)
It has remained a naive theory of mine until I came across the following summarization of work-related literature today... something I might have come across earlier on as I was out of work due to my temporary total disability...
"...research have found that regardless the level of medical condition, it is better to keep people at work for when people are separated from their workplace, they and their families are at a higher risk of suffering from outcomes such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, social isolation, family dissolution… etc (Atkinson, Liem, & Liem, 1986; Hammarstrom & Janlert, 1997; Kaplan et al., 1987; Mrazek & Haggerty, 1994; Rahmqvist & Carstensen, 1998)." link
To be honest, from the very beginning, some part of me knew this is what I need to do to survive all the strange encounters such as esophageal spasm, dry mouth, mood swing, anxiety attack kinda symptoms etc...
So I thought... I am lucky... for, at least partially, my health saves by work... and, perhaps, what they, in school, had me taught.... 8-O lol
On my way home, I walked past these two college kids... overheard what the guy was saying...
"...never mad."
Of course, I knew the self-referential kinda ideology was doing its work getting itself incorporated into my long term memories, possibly.... 8-O lol sigh
Then, I thought to myself... although only have my dosage down for one day, affects and emotions seem to have become more accessible to me....
"... never mad..." So I thought...
Then, my evil twin who is actually this me spoke...
"I am not ever mad... When I am really mad, I would like to choke them with my esophagus spasm, terrorise them with my delusional horror, overcome them with them seemly unfounded emotion, flood them with my idiopathic pain and bombard them with them auditory hallucinations...." 8-O oops lol...
Then, I thought... oops... not very nice.... lady.... do no harm... do no harm...
At the same time, it seems like I am getting more in touch with myself... Guess I am done with shock and denial... and here comes anger... 8-O lol sigh
Then, I thought again... one sentence summarising it all... can't be too bad... I guess... 8-O lol
In addition, it can't be too healthy to process them it can't be too healthy to process them emotions not...
What it be like.. it is because I have not yet learned the skills of dealing with 七情六慾... As a result, they have no way to get released that they have to hide into my unconsciousness and manifest themselves as my delusions and hallucinations... (Nice hypothesis yet hard to prove...)
Apparently, there is some agreement between my primary doctor and my shrink... and based on their simple neurological test... such as sticking my tongue out...
The side effect of Seroquel might be taking its toll on my sensory-motor coordination... and I might be experiencing the symptoms of tardive dyskinesia...
In other words, tardive dyskinesia could be the reason why I experience bad esophageal spasm at bed time after taking Seroquel before sleep...
Isn't it lovely... it just kept on coming... 8-O lol sigh
To test this theory out, sort of, today, the dosage of Seroquel will go down by 100 mg with the new dosage being 400 mg... In addition, Clozapam and Ambien would be the meds to deal with the plausible elevating level of anxiety and sleep disturbance...
When I went to sleep last night, as I laid there in bed, I had this funny feeling that the esophagus seemed to be getting to do something funky again... and I was awake wondering when I could eventually fall asleep again..
So I got up, took a bit of a pear and drink some water...
As I was going to pop one more of da pills, something told me not...
I went back to bed....
Thinking about the hypothesis of the spasm might have something to do with acid reflux...
Pondering about the fact that I could only identify the spasm when I lay down...
I put another pillow on top of the one I always use to elevate my head....
And, that seemed to have solved the problem at least for last night....
Last night, I spoke of how the dreams could be interpreted as having something to do with expressing myself...
The matter of the fact is that...
It has nothing so much about how I am communicating with the others...
Rather...
It has more to do with my internal thoughts... having to do with something like them symptoms of thought broadcasting and how people could access my thoughts...
In other words, what I need to learn is about them thoughts internal.... a process proceeds them thoughts external...
At the same time, since I am a very slow learner, as evident by the amount of time it takes for me to finish many of the classes, I went and got some peppermint oil for them esophageal spasm that comes and go at its own will... such as last night... a time when I had so much trouble swallowing the naproxen pill that I was starting to worry whether I would get choked on da pill... 8-O lol 8-X
(So they say... although there is no one single treatment that could cure esophageal spasm, for some people, a few drops of the peppermint oil in the water might help.... Personally, I would prefer to have it tested not.... Yet, shall I unfortunately have the chance to test it out... will let you know whether, for me, it works.... 8-O 8-X)
One thing was in my mind when I spoke of them two dreams I have back a few days ago... something about expressing myself...
The thing is that, the other day, when I was having a dinner with this girlfriend of mine, I told her about them experiences of having esophageal spasm ....
After listening to my narration, she provided me with this alternative perspective...
What it be like if I was feeling choked in the throat because I felt I was unable to express myself and speak my beliefs, or, it is be a manifestation of my learning to express myself and speak my mind?
Speaking of the confusions of interpretations especially in the realm of dream interpretations.... 8-O lol
Last night I laid in bed, trying to fall asleep while dealing with them ordinary uncontrollable images that came into my head.... (short of auditory hallucination, though, I think...)
At a certain point, I found myself having difficulties swallowing...
If was as if the bottom of my tongue was a piece of some foreign object in my mouth that would not respond to my command at all...
There after, I came to the realization... it appeared that the area right below the bottom of my tongue is also neglecting any request I made concerning this swallowing activity...
So I got up, but the condition did not change....
In my mind, I knew.... esophageal spasm... so it is...
I decided to take one of the Naproxen... to ease the spasm...
I picked up one pill and carefully tried to swallow it down the throat with water....
Yet, this amazing phenomenon happened....
That huge pill did not go too far...
It felt as if it move 1 or 2 centimeters down, if not shorter distance, and got stuck there perhaps at the very top of my esophagus.
I waited a bit and tried to swallow a bit more water... while curiously monitored what was going on with the pill...
A bit later, the pill moved a little bit lower... and it felt as if the areas above was becoming a bit more flex and not so tense...
So, I sat there a bit more... observing that pill behaving as if it is the gate keeper... soothing the esophagus one segment at a time until finally the pill went down as low as in my chest area...
Thereafter, I went back laying in my bed, trying to fall asleep again...
Shortly, I knew the pill was working because the internal organs seemed to be feeling much more relaxing.... 8-O (of course, this could simply be my imagination...)
And, I realise that... I was attacked again by this thing called dry mouth... something that hasn't happened for awhile...
On my way home today, I thought of this incidence, and, I had this insight...
I have been bad with smoking these past few days when I am trying to finish up the homework and paper....
Possibly, it is the body reacting to them smokes....
And, I thought how funny it is... even when in the scariest moments of upper esophageal spasm... when the spasm was so bad that I could not swallow the pill....
In addition to the uncontrollable concern about whether this spasm thing is gonna turn me eternally adios or not...
What was in my mind, the cognitive part of my mind, was the thought...
"Damn esophageal spasm again..."
And... again... just when I thought I knew what it means to have spasm... I know that I don't know jack about spasm...
And, of course, speaking of the multiple manifestations of the same principle... 8-Olol
You see, one thing I have to admit is that, for the longest time, I had this grandious belief that it is worse to be psychotic than to be neurotic alone. Yet, after my recent revisit to depressive and anxiety-related symptoms, I eventually come up with the conclusion that when it comes to how bad the conditions could make me feel-- both psychotic and neurotic kinda dasein moments could be really annoying and make me feel really bad... just in different format.
For instance, both the symptoms of psychosis and neurosis could make you feel like you were about to die and, honestly, at points, unfortunately, make you feel that death might be the only solution. Yet, fortunately, I have been able to remind myself time and again that I have worked too hard through out my life to survive and giving it up is not an option....
Take neurosis kinda condition such as anxiety attack or panic attack for instance, which might have happened quite a few times in recent weeks-- following that night when it felt as if the esophagus spasm could have gotten me suffocated.... Although the experience of esophagus spasm did not happen again, for nights after nights, my mouth would turn so dry that it would feel as if the wall of the esophagus was sticking together and there was no saliva at all present.
During this phase, the anxiety level would rise up, the heart would start pounding. The extreme of both psychological and physical discomfort would make me feel so bad to the extent that I would start fearing for my life, and, it would feel as if I were to go into the state of a full-blown anxiety attack--- for a reason... (unconditioned response... sort of...)
After a few days, I started to find myself gradually developing this sense of fear about going to bed... This is because I was started to associate the concept or the act of going to bed with the torment mentioned above. In other words, going to bed is now associated with all the minor inconveniences and could now serve, on its own, as the trigger for the dasein moments which were very much like anxiety attacks. The experience was so annoying that, at point, I would find me thinking to myself.... This is no way to live.... This is no way to live... How could people live this way and I can't live this way?
Thank, God, I eventually live out of that phase and, believe or not, I do thank God for allowing me to fall asleep without da fear no more....
With psychosis, the delusions and hallucinations do amazing work in building delusional stories to scare myself. For instance, on the night before I shipped myself back to the psychiatric ward, I had this delusional belief in my mind that some patient in the psychiatric ward escaped and he is on his way to me-- on the mission to make me go adios....
Although some might believe that delusions are simply delusions and there might not be any meaning to them delusional beliefs. I do find some interesting questions related to the above delusional kinda story.....
Who could that patient be? Who was this cuckoo at large that intended to do me harm? And, regarding the danger I sensed.... what exactly does that sense of danger mean in reality?
Could that sense of danger have something to do the deteriorating mental state I was in? Could it have something to do with the fear of having to go back to the cuckoo's nest? Or, could it have something to do with the plausible guilt I sensed about not having upping the dosage of my meds earlier enough due to my foolish pride about wanting to take control of my mental states without having to use meds as the dominant means and wanting to test my own limits?
In any case, what I am trying to convey with the above scenarios is that... both neurotic and psychotic symptoms could cause high degree of annoyances even though the experiences might be substantially different.... In other words, having psychotic symptoms make you suffer neither more nor less than having symptoms associated with neurotic kinda condition.
Getting back to the topic of honesty.....
Ya, honest to God, for the longest time, I was... psychotic-centered (?). It was not until my recent encounter with the hit-by-a-truck grade of depression and them experiences like anxiety or panic attack did my memories about neurosis get refreshed. And, thereafter, I finally can come up with the, hopefully more impartial, conclusion that, when it comes to the dasein moments both psychotic and neurotic symptoms could afford, all symptoms are equally bad although their nature might be substantially different. 8-O
Following is a posting I made this Wednesday for my private blog... It sort of documented my recent encounter with esophagus spasm and dry mouth....
Like what I always say.... I have no idea why I have to go through the things I have to go through in life.... Yet, in retrospective, I do see how my own action have an impact on the outcomes.... 8-O lol
In addition, after I tossed and turned for a few hours in bed, I eventually got up to take a Clonazepam.... unfortunately, it took this pill much longer a time to put me to sleep then usually....
Go to sleep drafted on Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I have never known how difficult it could be to fall asleep....
Yes, it is true...
I have lived through nights of sleeplessness....
I have lived through them nights of sleeplessness.... so many a night... and... within which I were haunted by the ghosts of my own delusions.... and the associated delusions concerning death...
Yet, what has been happening to me nowadays is something different....
What I have been experiencing in recent days are the extreme of physical discomfort.... the inability for me to swallow--- even my own saliva, the dry mouth.... so dry that it feels as if my mouth produces no saliva at all, the ensuing sense of anxiety.... especially the tension resulting from the bodily discomfort and the inability to fall a sleep....
I had the worst symptoms last Thursday night....
What I ate for dinner was one of the cup a noodle with some mushrooms....
Thereafter I had a beer and a strawberry Margarita along with 4 pints of hot water while hanging out...
After I got home and before I went night night, I put the dissolvable tooth whitening strips of Listerine.... In other words, I went to bed with them Listerine whitening strips still in my mouth waiting to be dissolved and broken down by my saliva...
Then, the next thing I realized was that..... it was 2 o'clock in the morning and, after I got up, I found myself lost the ability to swallow even my own saliva.... Worst of all, I was having trouble breathing through my mouth... It was then did this thought occurred to me... OMG... I could die in suffocation here along in my room and no one would even know about it...
I struggled and finally swallowed down one of my Naproxen.... The pill immediate relaxed my neck area and I finally could swallow again... although still having to deal with the increased heart beat rate as well as the unbearable dryness in my mouth...
Regardless, I went back to bed since there seems to be two options only I saw... I go to bed and wake up the morning after or I wake up not....
Apparently, in retrospective, I did fall asleep and I did wake up....
Following are a few of the options that I entertained:
The chemical in the whitening strips might have built up in my mouth and caused irritation
I have become allergic to something (e.g., alcohol, shrimp, wheat)
I drank too much liquid and the water built up in my cells such as those in my throat... or water intoxication
I might have experienced an anxiety attack or panic attack
Or, the combinations of more than one of the above
Friday night was a good night since I had no trouble at all falling asleep...
Saturday night... I think I had some problems falling asleep again but not so bad... some sensation of dry mouth, maybe...
Sunday night... maybe a bit of dry mouth kind of problem....
On Monday, I went to see my doctor... and we came to the conclusion that it might have been the Listerine strips that got my throat totally irritated... Yet, that after noon, against her advise, yours nothing in the head decided to get another kind of extra powerful tooth whitening strips...
Then, Monday night, again... I had great discomfort and difficulties falling asleep... First, it felt as if I was having difficulties swallowing and there seems to be something stuck in my throat... After I got up and moved around a bit, I went back to lie in bed... only to find myself being attacked by dry mouth... and dry throat.... So dry that I felt the lining of my throat was touching each other and rubbing against each other.
I got up again and again only to find myself still being attacked by da dry throat and mouth...
Yet, I decided to not take additional pills instead....
Eventually, I fell asleep and woke up this morning... spending the entire day feeling still sleepy...
In retrospective, I think what happened since Monday night might have something to do with the Crest Advanced Seal whitening strips... It is because I was able to feel their after effects all the way into the later part of the day on Tuesday even though I applied the strips later in the evening...
Given that I have also been feeling gas coming up through my esophagus, I decided tonight that.... Maybe what I am experiencing have something to do with this thing called acid reflux...
I was going to hold it though the night to see whether I am going to experience the same thing tonight without any further intervention...
Yet, I decided to take two of the Tumbs.... for... it ain't making sense for me to kill myself over some stupid and methodologically unsound experiments... 8-O lol
Let's hope and pray to God that I could finally fall asleep.... once for a change.....
Last note... perhaps... something else in the equation... da prune juice might also be part of the equation since I am trying to use it to help me with da constipation department.... (8-O lol oops... did I say it? lol)
And, God... let me fall asleep for once... tonight... shall you exist and shall you be listening... in addition to letting me find a husband soon... 8-O lol sigh... (Think this is quite funny for me to be still thinking about finding a husband while under-going the given condition.... 8-O lol)
Whit
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Whit sounds like wit and according to dictionary.com, it means
a particle; bit; jot (used especially in negative phrases).
I have changed not a whit. I do...
A dream: Backpacking
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On my way back from NYC to Taipei in April, I managed to get myself an
extended layover (over 2 weeks) in Japan, landing at and exiting from the
Narita Air...
Ratprincess in Technology not lost?
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Given my sick-in-the-headness, sometimes it's hard to trust my LTM. Did
Ratprincess in Technology really exist or was it my false memory?
As I was marv...
Traces of the past
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A link I found that has been live online from the Down with Meds age.
Apparently, the past has always been there whether I knew it or not.
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