Like what I always say.... I have no idea why I have to go through the things I have to go through in life.... Yet, in retrospective, I do see how my own action have an impact on the outcomes.... 8-O lol
In addition, after I tossed and turned for a few hours in bed, I eventually got up to take a Clonazepam.... unfortunately, it took this pill much longer a time to put me to sleep then usually....
Go to sleep
drafted on Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I have never known how difficult it could be to fall asleep....
Yes, it is true...
I have lived through nights of sleeplessness....
I have lived through them nights of sleeplessness.... so many a night... and... within which I were haunted by the ghosts of my own delusions.... and the associated delusions concerning death...
Yet, what has been happening to me nowadays is something different....
What I have been experiencing in recent days are the extreme of physical discomfort.... the inability for me to swallow--- even my own saliva, the dry mouth.... so dry that it feels as if my mouth produces no saliva at all, the ensuing sense of anxiety.... especially the tension resulting from the bodily discomfort and the inability to fall a sleep....
I had the worst symptoms last Thursday night....
What I ate for dinner was one of the cup a noodle with some mushrooms....
Thereafter I had a beer and a strawberry Margarita along with 4 pints of hot water while hanging out...
After I got home and before I went night night, I put the dissolvable tooth whitening strips of Listerine.... In other words, I went to bed with them Listerine whitening strips still in my mouth waiting to be dissolved and broken down by my saliva...
Then, the next thing I realized was that..... it was 2 o'clock in the morning and, after I got up, I found myself lost the ability to swallow even my own saliva.... Worst of all, I was having trouble breathing through my mouth... It was then did this thought occurred to me... OMG... I could die in suffocation here along in my room and no one would even know about it...
I struggled and finally swallowed down one of my Naproxen.... The pill immediate relaxed my neck area and I finally could swallow again... although still having to deal with the increased heart beat rate as well as the unbearable dryness in my mouth...
Regardless, I went back to bed since there seems to be two options only I saw... I go to bed and wake up the morning after or I wake up not....
Apparently, in retrospective, I did fall asleep and I did wake up....
Following are a few of the options that I entertained:
- The chemical in the whitening strips might have built up in my mouth and caused irritation
- I have become allergic to something (e.g., alcohol, shrimp, wheat)
- I drank too much liquid and the water built up in my cells such as those in my throat... or water intoxication
- I might have experienced an anxiety attack or panic attack
- Or, the combinations of more than one of the above
Friday night was a good night since I had no trouble at all falling asleep...
Saturday night... I think I had some problems falling asleep again but not so bad... some sensation of dry mouth, maybe...
Sunday night... maybe a bit of dry mouth kind of problem....
On Monday, I went to see my doctor... and we came to the conclusion that it might have been the Listerine strips that got my throat totally irritated... Yet, that after noon, against her advise, yours nothing in the head decided to get another kind of extra powerful tooth whitening strips...
Then, Monday night, again... I had great discomfort and difficulties falling asleep... First, it felt as if I was having difficulties swallowing and there seems to be something stuck in my throat... After I got up and moved around a bit, I went back to lie in bed... only to find myself being attacked by dry mouth... and dry throat.... So dry that I felt the lining of my throat was touching each other and rubbing against each other.
I got up again and again only to find myself still being attacked by da dry throat and mouth...
And, the same thing happened again last night...
I wanted so bad to take either one of the Clonazepam or Naproxen...
Yet, I decided to not take additional pills instead....
Eventually, I fell asleep and woke up this morning... spending the entire day feeling still sleepy...
In retrospective, I think what happened since Monday night might have something to do with the Crest Advanced Seal whitening strips... It is because I was able to feel their after effects all the way into the later part of the day on Tuesday even though I applied the strips later in the evening...
Given that I have also been feeling gas coming up through my esophagus, I decided tonight that.... Maybe what I am experiencing have something to do with this thing called acid reflux...
I was going to hold it though the night to see whether I am going to experience the same thing tonight without any further intervention...
Yet, I decided to take two of the Tumbs.... for... it ain't making sense for me to kill myself over some stupid and methodologically unsound experiments... 8-O lol
Let's hope and pray to God that I could finally fall asleep.... once for a change.....
Last note... perhaps... something else in the equation... da prune juice might also be part of the equation since I am trying to use it to help me with da constipation department.... (8-O lol oops... did I say it? lol)
And, God... let me fall asleep for once... tonight... shall you exist and shall you be listening... in addition to letting me find a husband soon... 8-O lol sigh... (Think this is quite funny for me to be still thinking about finding a husband while under-going the given condition.... 8-O lol)
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