Update on the books

Given the amount of time, energy, and money I wasted away to get the books out, of course I would prefer everyone to buy all my books in the series, read them all; get something out of them; and spread the words. However, based on the information I gathered so far, only limited number of people have started the reading process. Oh oh ....

By the way, before you buy books, you might want to check out the content. With Amazon.com, you have the choice of either downloading a sample kindle book or click on "Look inside" to preview a segment of the book using the browser. 

My psychotic books and learning/teaching

Who is your audience? I have been asked about this question a gazillion and a times. Anyone could be the audience of my psychotic books.

The question I have in mind nowadays is "how can my psychotic books be used as supplementary teaching/learning materials?" Following is an example.

Broadened Horizons: On Psychotic Onsets--Basic level. This book is suited for introductory courses such as Abnormal Psychology or psychopathology at the undergraduate and graduate levels.

Blows: Polar Express to Club Meds (aka Psychiatric Ward)--Basic+ level. This book is suited for readers with a basic understanding of or interest in psychopathology and qualitative research.


Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis--Higher level. This book contains quite a bit of jargons and it would work best for readers with or would like to have an understanding of developmental psychology, cognitive psychology, and neuropsychology.


Ratology database: My Psychotic Discourse (Abridged)--Basic level. This book contains my writings from the onset to my third hospitalization. The contents could be used for training in qualitative research with real-life data. An example project would be the book "Blows: Polar Express to Club Meds (aka Psychiatric Ward)."

The drawing on the cover of Ratology database

 Why is this psychotic rat (aka I) so happy? 
 
The answer is in the title of the book Ratology database.

As a researcher, I love data. I am a data freak. Though I'd prefer not to be the contributor of the data, there is nothing wrong to find them data precious.

Be happy, ratprincess!

The drawing on the cover of Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis

This drawing, inspired by Chagall's style, is on the cover of my model book Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis.  

The little houses on the ground represent the thoughts emerged throughout the years. Futile attempts you might say. Yet, on the upper leftside of the drawing, we see ratprincess flying to reach a star.  The star is the ultimate goal--the building of my own model of how my psychosis works. 

My model is, like the drawing, imperfect and some might consider it appallingly atrocious. However it might be judged; I've done my due diligence and got the star. 

The drawing on the cover of Blows

I drew this in the psychiatric ward, which is in the building of the New York Psychiatric Institute.

There are two ratprincesses in this drawing. One sits on a rainbow below the walker while the other, locked up in a purple cage. In the background is the view of the Jersey shore across the Hudson River.

I find it to be a perfect drawing for the book Blows because I was in excruciating pain with a walker in the psychiatric ward. 

 

The drawing on the cover of Broadened Horizons

Broadened Horizons is a book addressing the topic of psychotic onsets.

Artistic am I not though I did draw this picture in the psychiatric ward.

Take a look at ratprincess. Where she stands now is everything familiar and shared with others--a house with chimney, mountains behind the house, a rainbow, clouds in the sky. and the sun. 

 
With a basket in hand, ratprincess is getting ready to cross over the river to pick up something new whilst not shared with the others. Her psychosis.

Love you my cranberry Kevin

 Just heard this bad news ... my friend Cranberry Kevin passed away two weeks ago. People have to stop dropping. 

The original URL of Down with Meds--A Revelation of Ratology

After I deleted my old blog "Down with Meds--A Revelation of Ratology" due to the command of my delusions and hallucinations, the URL for the blog became unavailable. Then, in 2011, I found out it was available again and grabbed it immediately.

 http://ratology.blogspot.com/

An abridged and proofed version of the old blog is in the Ratology Database book.

Ratology Books are finally out in both eBook and paperback formats

Because I could not find publishers to publish my books, I decided to publish my books by myself through Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing.

It was not a process as easy as I had imagined, partially because I kept finding errors of all sorts. Also, every time I made a change, I would have to wait for at least 24 hours for the changes to show up or to make further modifications. 

At some point, my head decided that it is good enough and I don't have to find faults in my books no more.

Please click on https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BGCZWR58 to check out my personal profile and my books. And if you wish, please purchase a book or two or the entire series. I would suggest the ebooks since it is more environmentally friendly. Your purchase would be totally appreciated.  :-D

Following are my Author page and the page for my series "Mad Pride: the Revelation of my Psychosis."

So, I can finally claim now that I am a writer who has published a series of 4 books.

The question is, in order to help people, people have to read my books. So far, 0 copies sold. lol :-X

Ratology Books

Finally, my head authorized it.

My books, which I have devoted my life to write, can be published and I can make postings in this blog.

The first book I published is the model book (self-publishing unfortunately).

Ratology Evolutions: My Psychotic Mental Model of My Psychosis

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B88FZVZC

The psychotic onset book is on sale already even though I am still trying to get the paperback version out.

Broadened Horizons: On Psychotic Onsets

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BBD9Y9V5 

And, yes, Ratprincess's name is Yaowen Chang.

Amnesia

 I have been experiencing bouts of amnisia after a good nite or two of partying. I had two long island tea and will down another one or two glasses of red wine without fm2 as the sleeping aid. 

Let me see how it goes tomorrow.

Ya, yet another inconvenience from some kind of intervention.

Unterwegs zur EEG

EEG stands for Electroencephalogram. It's a diagnostic test for detections of abnormal brain-wave activities.

Since my brain has begun the shrinking process, the EEG ordered by my neurologist might be a follow-up test. 

Regardless, life goes on and, like Rome, the shrinkage did not get built in one day.

One thing I can't stop wondering is whether my sleeping problem (i.e., waking up every 1-2 hours after FM2 puts me down for the initial 3-4 hours, and sometimes less) is linked to the shrinking process of that atrophying brain of mine. 

Here is an example study showing that I am not the only person having this question.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4162301/

P.S., Theoretically, my cohorts should not exhibit the atrophy as a result of the aging process yet.

  

Brain shrinkage--ya, moi

 I know the day would come all along and it is finally here--there is shrinkage in my brain, only a bit over 2 decades after the onset.

During a regular check up, my complaints led my neurologist and me to revisit the MRI scans taken in my head.  Yet, it's not as bad as a brain for elderlies in the 80s or 90s as a result of the natural progression of aging. 

It's been a while since I made a posting.

Hope this is what is worth reporting. 

SOS --- Help needed to publish my four books

All four books are done and what I need to do is to get them published and distributed.

It's imposing far more stress than I can handle especially after mom passed away and my head condition exacerbated.

Send me an angel ... whatever there is.

What to do about mama

Mama's been gone since March 11th this year. However, there is never a day when I do not hear her speaking to me and feel her presence.

The "symptoms" ironically sooth and support me, who was already broken apart when she was still in the vegetative state in ICU.

I spoke with my shrink last week about accepting the BIG NO NO--believing that mama is my guardian angel and is holding this broken piece of junk together.

What might turn out? Time will tell.

My Mama

My mom passed away on 3/11 due to ich and the collateral damages-- psychotic symptoms.

It is a long story. In short, I was to trash all four books. She, in a vegetative state, happened to squeeze my hands twice and I took it as a sign.

The story of her psychosis et. al. turned to be the end of my onset book.

Can't stop missing her.

Stuck at meta-psychosis - Here I Go Again

I have been stuck at the notion of meta-psychosis for many days.

Something tells me that what I have written is still crap.

I need to find more evidence for the occurrence of meta-psychosis.

As a result,







Plowing through the dungeon of my own words, wishing for the mercy of the yester-me's to lead me an easy way to whatever could be a proof of meta-psychosis.

The story of my life ... here I go again ... digging through the end of DWM one post after another.

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Latuda

After switching to Solian from Seroquel for months, I am switching from Solian to Latuda again because Solian makes me cognitively even more constipated. This is no good since I have 2-3 hours available per day to use this head.

Today is the first day for me to go on Latuda. Had an early dinner and I took Latuda with my meal. Thereafter, I found myself more restless and keeping wanting to move. Guess that's the side effect.

How I hate dosage adjusting and switching drugs. sigh

Keep my fingers crossed. :-X

619 Anniversary

The day I felt free from the collapsed chair was in NYC time 1-2 o'clock in the afternoon on June 19th. Interestingly, it was already June 20th in Taipei due to the around 12 hour or so time difference.

Today, I am still a handicap with invisible disabilities and burning candles at two ends trying to kick myself kicking at large.

So, this sleepwalker with Johnny Walker Green celebrated the anniversary!

My spare tire

This spare tire of mine simply refuse to leave me along.

Someone was about to ask me how many month pregnant the other day.
I replied, "I am just fat. Not pregnant."  lol

Honestly speaking, my middle section had never gone this far. Since it started around the time I start to switch to Solian, it makes me wonder.