Cane-less

While some people in my imaginary world might still be pondering about how psychosomatisation is liked to my need to use cane this past week or two, I finally am cane-less again...

Why does it take longer this time for me to get rid of the cane when comparing to da condition following the MRI scan, for instance?

My rationale...

The MRI scan disturbed the Xi or energy field...

The stupid laptop moving activities caused problem at the physical level...

This might be why it took longer to be cane-less again.

The chick that stares at trees

Tried to get out and move around and was only able to walk for as long as a block before it exceeds the body limits and the pain and spasm resurrects.

Needed to get some food for dinner... and I had to get some vegis from the fruit stand...

The longest block with 5 limping step at a time.

Sitting on the bench, staring at da tree... reminding of them winter's day and nights staring at da tree wondering whether there would be a day when I could walk again.

Would need to get back to my cane again.

However, it is much better than what I had to go through after the MRI scan... I think...

Did a whole lot of swinging thing so far today and would need more there after.

A pill of da Naproxen as well... after dinner so that I don't kill my stomach.

Is it scientifically possible?

Still, I could not help to ask...

MRI

So I told this friend of mine about how my body went into a total breakdown after the MRI scan on my right knee...

"That happened to me to except for they don't want to admit it."

Better yet... or else why do they hide behind the shield? 8-O lol

So I thought.... 8-O....

Thought I was only me... 8-O lol

Of course, all that I am saying is my strange experiences with MRI... ain't like I am saying anything about anything else... All in all, am I not back to walking again?

Session notes

When answering some of the questions inquired by my shrink today, I found myself sort of mentally searching through what I might have written down before in this blog... sort of like when I provided him with the answer to the question...

"Do you believe MRI caused the pain?"

In my head, I thought... "Duh..."

Out of my mouth this came... "law of proximity..."

As if... the posting here are the notes prepared for the session.... OR... perhaps... defense or proposal hearing.... 8-O lol 8-O

Food

I can't stop eating.... food.... I got food on my mind...

Might have started earlier on.... not sure...

However, one thing I am sure is that it has gotten so much worse since last Tuesday after the MRI scan... (correlational and law of proximity)...

I would be eating like a piglet all the way till the middle of the afternoon... early in the evening... I would be hungry again and my governments would ask for food.... 8-O lol

The weird thing...

When the meds first went down such as 3 weeks ago, my appetite actually also got slowed down...

However, it starts again... I want food... sort of like what happens when the dosage goes up...

Yet, what do I know other than.... I need food because Is want food... 8-O lol

Don't know what kind of psychosomatisation it is.... 8-O

Alternative theory: Pain and MRI

Bumped into this friend on the street... apparently, from his view, my body seems to be pretty beaten down.... me concur.... 8-O

I told him it happened all of a sudden after the MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) scan... (correlational study)...

He asked whether it might have to do with the anxiety associated with it.

I said I only had my knees and the lower part of my thigh in the thing and I sort of felt asleep at the end of the scan....

I do understand where it comes from... the psychosomatisation line of viewpoint...

Yet, so I must have responded to his comment... true... the line of literature available is dependent on the psychosomatisation kinda perspective...

This is why they tell you do come up with a theoretical framework for your studies.... because however you examine your data would be (and would have to be) based on the lens afforded by the chosen framework as well as the arguments you have to make to complete your write up.... with other kind of viewpoints go into the limitation section.... 8-O lol

"I have a different theory. I am sensitive to Xi, Qi or energy. Speaking of the impact of magnetic field on energy (and vice versa).

So he added... "And it resonates...." which inevitably drives my entire body up the wall and going into different directions... I guess... speaking of entanglements.... 8-O lol

In addition, I hope the energy in my body didn't interact with the magnetic field so well that it creates electrical currents through my head... it would turn into a free ECT treatment.... I once heard that ECT with only one electrode works better than that with 2... This is even better than the uni-electrode ones since it requires no electrodes at all.... As long as they don't charge me for the added value.... 8-O lol

With one of the side effect.... man... I can't stopping eating.... 8-O lol

At the same time, I have been doing my swinging exercise with due diligence since it is the only thing really that I could do anyways... Since yesterday, there is been this feeling that there is this cold thing coming out of my head... through my mouth... or.. coming down through my body.... feeling as if some not so conductive chi or qi is getting drastically released.... It feels as if the body is taking a hit by the flooding of the cold chi.... and this is why... the body is taking a hit...

For more elaborated writing, please do a search yourself in the postings I made later part last year... I won't entertain furthermore about since thinking too much does nothing constructive anyway... and might make it destructive.... 8-O

In any case, it's but a theory... sort of like what his face said about m theory or quantum theory.... How do you prove it?

At the same time, there is a difference between my MRI encounters then and now... Essentially, today, the theory I subscribe to is the theory of Qi....

In addition, theories are theories.... because they are not laws... and, I am sort of confused here... I thought the reason why laws are laws is because there ain't no exceptions... such as that apple falling on Newton's head would also fall on your head as well... Yet, don't they say them laws aren't applicable in the quantum world? Just a layperson's dump question and nonsensical thought... I guess....

MRI and Pain again

Went to see my doctor today and told him about how my knees and back gave up after the IME...

He then sent me to do an MRI on my right knee...

It happened again...

During the procedure.... I started feeling pain on my knees and other parts of the body...

At certain point, it felt as if the cells all over the body were about to explode and extremely uncomfortable...

In any case, the scan was done, I got my films and walked out of the clinic....

Again, both my knees and body were not happy and I limped around like a big bad bug.... one step at a time... tried to move forward....

At the earlier part of the day and later part of the afternoon, the problem was primarily concerning movements with pains manageable...

At some point and even later in the afternoon, I started feeling the nerve pain to grow....

It started as the sparkles along your spine...

You feel it...

You cope with it...

In no time, you realise that the pain has taken its own life and taken a toll on you.... locked down all capacities sparing you one and only one task to perform...

Thereafter, I realised that this was actually very much similar to how the pain had emerged the day of my accident on June 2007...

Despite the fact that I hate taking pain meds, I had to ask for pain killers to get some relief from it.

They say that it is impossible to get pain during or after MRI scans....

They say that the pain you get might have something to do with your being anxious or being claustrophobic except for the majority part of my body was on the outside and only knees in the cylinder...

They say there ain't no scientific reasons about it.... what occurs again and again to me...

I gladly accept their opinion except for... as I was struggling to get to the office after the scan.... I can't help asking this question again and again....

I am dragging my body trying to move forward...

I do need to stop every other steps...

I am really here observing what is going on with my body and I assume other people could see it as well....

I am in this state and I am "being here"... Yet, they say there ain't no reason such shall occur.... thus, it ain't possible for such state to exist.... thus... I can't be here?! (OMG... So based on this reasoning... I exist not.... 8-O lol sigh)

Yet, there ain't no scientific explanation to the state I am in....

Scientific minded experts.... how could it be so?

Can somebody tell me? How could it be so?

I will work on recovery again and I possibly will use my cane for tomorrow...

Yet, all that I have to go through.... unfounded, unscientific and unexplainable... How could it be so?

In any case, in case you are another confused soul not understanding why you experience intensified pain and disability.... and, in case, you have tried all your might to figure out whether there exist someone else on this planet with similar experiences....

Like how the song goes as well as the curious dasein it tries to describe... I can't tell you why....

I can only tell you.... you are not alone.... that's why there are things called outlier analysis, I guess.... 8-O lol sigh