Them Apocalypses

Throughout the years, I mumble-jumbled about my apocalypses and how purgatorio, paradiso, and inferno all went adios, resurrected, went adios, etc.

The reality is that I have never really read the bible and I have no inkling what the Apocalypse was supposed to be like according to the bible.

I might have read a verse or two when I went with this friend to the Unfinished on the Bunny Day one year. If I recall correctly, they were talking about the story of how Moses led the Israelites to escape through the opening of the Red Sea, and how the the closing of the Red Sea drowned all Egyptians soldiers coming after them. I also know about famous verses like "In the beginning was the word" and "In the beginning God created heaven and earth ...." 

Shamefully, this is about as much text I have read in the Bible. My close-to-nonexisting exposure to the sacred text absolutely appalled one hard-core atheist friend (and I thought that he was about to un-friend me for it) because it is such a literary classic so beautifully composed.

Anyways, so, I spent the last 2-3 days finishing up reading Good Omens, where creatures were running around trying either to ensure that the Apocalypse takes place or to stop it from happening.

Then, it occurred to me how blessed I only had to live through and to revert them unannounced apocalypses one after another without the foresight that, "Odds fish! How on earth am I to prevent it from happening?"

One thing I figured from this book is that the purgatorio is definitely going to be gone with the wind upon the apocalypse. This leads me to wonder: since my apocalypses seemed to have overshot the apocalyptic criteria, perhaps my apocalypses are not the same as The Apocalypse and I should name them something else ... like ... Total Ec-lypses? 8-O