Fear

 God told me that I can get rid of this body suit that's handicapped both in the head and the body.

Yes. That is the deal.

Now that I have finished publishing all books and tried my best to market the books, where is my time to rest in peace? Instead, I am stuck with this sleep disorder that makes me wake up every one or two hours.

Have I been deceived by heaven? OMG ... where is the promised good death?! I am waiting and now fear is overwhelming me ... how come I am not dead yet?! :-X

This is almost like the apocalypse episode all over again.