Monday, November 21, 2011

What have you been up to?

Went to my class reunions this weekend and met up with some old classmates from senior high school and college.  Nice outing and I enjoyed both of them a great lot!

As a routine, people ask me questions otherwise could be sort of "embarrassing" to respond to shall I have not reached a certain level of expertise in my iron head kong (鐵頭功).

In the first class reunion, where the majority of my classmates were medical doctors, someone asked me...

"What have you been up to?"

Before I got to generate my answer, this good friend of mine threw out her response, "I have no idea."

I second her opinion and replied, "I don't know either." (which is the truth... 8-O 8-X)

The day after was the reunion for my schoolmates from the college.  Apparently, as I was told, most of my classmates are already in the managerial level--- at our age.

This classmate of mine asked me the same question, "What have you been up to?"

Someone else asked the question, "Have you gotten the green card?"

Succinctly had I their questions replied, "I was at work. The chair collapsed and I became disabled.  Just when I was struggling to dig myself out of total disability, I got the notice saying that the application for the self-sponsored green card was rejected."

At some point, this friend commented, "Sounds so mysterious."

I still don't quite understand where the mystery resides in....

So I thought... perhaps, it is the truth, the whole truth and that nothing but the truth that made people feel "mysterious" about my so very nothing happening life? 8-O lol

Then, as I am typing these words out, I realize that... it is true that a huge chunk of my life was unspoken... all that's documented in this blog... can't even put it in my resume or explain to them... "Yo, by the way, I've been busy documenting the ups and downs and the somewhere in between of my psychosis etc and that's the research I have been doing... A lot of words, just no publication"... 8-O 8-X lol sigh

At least-- not until I figure out how to put things into a book especially when the crippling state might be shocking enough to many.   No need to break the news about the blackbox.

A question I have for myself... "What am I up to?"

Live my life, get a job, let the book thing be done with and keep on being happy!

P.S., And, how on earth do I still feel so happy when comparing my here and now to that of the others?  Guess, it takes a nut case like me to be happy despite of the fact that I am still off anti-depressant while on 300 mg Seroquel.  And, since I am psychotic... this gotta be what they say... psychotic? 8-O

And, unless... this kind of happy...  "I feel happy..." 8-O lol


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