Monday, January 9, 2012

The yawning psychotic

I had to get off early to check in with my psychiatrist today.  The older I get, the lazier I become, and, now I am just gonna outsource all things to the professionals especially when I am in a stage of trying to figure out how to reactivate my head without getting it overheated. 8-O lol

I told him that I took that good fall that finally made me full because I literally am sick 從頭到腳 (a Chinese expression meaning from head to foot).  I also told him that I somehow got a post-doc job and now I am doing research. 

"What was your doctor degree in?"  So asked my psychiatrist.

Well, though my degree is called in Instructional Technologies and Media, my adviser is a cognitive psychologist and I see myself more aligning with da cognitive psychology thing.

"Cognitive psychology?"  My psychiatrist seemed to find it intriguing...

So I explained, "Because my thinking is disordered, I want to know how people think." lol

Then, I asked yet again...

"I can't stop yawning.  If psychotics rarely yawn (unless, so they say, in the presence of neurological damages), why can't I stop yawning?"

"Maybe you don't sleep enough?"  So he asked.

"I yawn regardless whether I sleep too much, too little (or somewhere in between)."

So my psychiatrist suggested, "Do exercise, do yoga etc, maybe."

And I replied, "That's the time when I yawn the most when exercising and relaxing!"

Then, so inquired my psychiatrist, "Come again... what did they diagnose you with in the US?"

So I volunteered the following info again, as I have mentioned many a time in my writing, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, delusional disorder (though I have no doubt that I have hallucinations)...  Regardless, one Seroquel does it all regardless of the diagnosis while no doubt I am psychotic.

Though my psychiatrist, like all other doctors I had asked before, could not give me an answer about why I yawn so much...  I knew it but I simply had to ask the question.

Without saying much more, my psychiatrist made a final remark, the same remark my rehab doctor made when I saw him after the fall and a remark many people had me told, "Just don't fall again."

So I got out of the building and took extra precaution in walking... back to the ordinary world that everyone (almost) knew me and what I said.  I waited for the light to turn and... as I was waiting, back was yawning again.

So I thought, God knows, this yawning thing, whether that is even something worth pondering about other than it doesn't really make me look too good when walking up and down the street- yawning up a storm.  No wonder I can't find a husband... ain't my fault... all da yawning's fault. 8-O lol

Yet, still I have to ask... anyone out there have an answer to why this psychotic yawns so much?

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