Progression

Some interesting progression in my cognitive processing in recent times... and as the dosage gradually went down in recent months...

First, I finally was able to convince myself that... How is it anybody else's business what the heck is in my mind?

A bit later, I finally was able to think... "How is it anybody else's business what the heck I write in my private blog since it is but a private journal for myself?

In even more recent time, finally, "How is it anybody else's business what the heck it is that comes out of my mouth if I am not talking to them?"

So, I was asked this question...

"What make you think so?"

"Oh... because I am psychotic.  It is the most fundamental of the condition."  8-O 8-X lol

Then, in even more recent days, something this friend of mine once had me told kept on popping to my mind...

It was before I was labeled as psychotic.... over a decade ago now...

One day, I was sitting at the bar.  A few seats away sat this other regular.  We had been hanging out at the same bar for quite a while then...

Each every move and look of his told me that he knew something....

Finally, I collected enough "courage" and asked him this question....

"Have you ever heard anyone talking about me recently?"

My poor friend apparently was interrupted from his own train of thoughts and gave me that embarrassing look...

"I am so sorry!  I have been having so much trouble at home that I have not been paying anybody else any mind."

Since normal people can't quite tell me how they think and since this seems to be an example of how normal people act and think...

So I think to myself.... maybe the next task to learn about how to be normal is... "I am having so much problem keeping up with what is in my own "house" that I can't be paying nobody else's no mind." lol oops...

Believe it or not though... personally, I prefer to believe such progression as an improvement somehow... Of course... only time could tell.... remember... emerging vs forcing...  except for.. not quite easy a task...  especially when you are using an "invalid" instrument as an evaluation measure... such this whatever-it-is head of mine...  8-O  8-X lol sigh