The thought of them becoming 仙 makes death not so awful... because now they have supernatural power and they could protect you.
Yet, regardless whether you believe in it or not, you still get overcome by sadness when it comes.
And, like what my grandma said to me in a nightmare years back... years after she passed away....
"It is just the way it is."
So many other people have lived through and out of it. So could others including me.
The bad habits of hallucinations and delusions do make it more complicated for me to deal with the process... I think... not to discount anyone else's experience... and, perhaps, this is why they were trying to hide the news from me...
So... my uncle's funeral took place on Dec. 13th Taiwan Time.... which translates into yesterday night in New York time....
Then, I thought of the idea of a funeral....
In addition to using it as a function to show our respects and everything else to the deceased... who we would love to believe to have now 成仙 and taken by Buddha to 西方極樂世界......
The funeral provides a space for the survived to be together and give each other supports....
I would have preferred to stay home and mourn... listening to them useless thoughts in my head in whatever form...
Yet, something told me that I need to be with people...
So... I went out to be with people....
I did not tell no soul what the heck was going on in my mind other than simply being a melancholic drama queen for the night. For me... that was good enough since I was not 涕淚縱橫...
I did stick to the 素菜 (vegetarian) diet for the Taiwanese December 13th....
Later I thought...
If my uncle really has turned to be a 仙, he would rather me to stay with people and listen to real people talk... What it be like if he has something to do with that something that got me out of the house?
Where is the boundary between pathological magical thinking and cultural beliefs?
How bad is such a thought?--- a question for myself... (and, I guess, as long as I can keep it real... 8-O)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment