Etiology and its implications: Why I went nuts

Sometimes I think the reason why I went nuts might have to do with the fact that...

I tried to hold back judgment on people because I understood blah blah blah blah blah blah...

Somehow I think the whole holding judgment and being understanding thing might have used up all my available memory and caused the system to constantly hang or crash.  8-O

One thing I have been trying to learn in this new life is to be "normal" or "human"... to reclaim the rights to make judgments about people's deeds and speech as per my "perception" and to authorise myself to feel pissed off...

For instance, one thing that really pisses me off is to see how evil people could be to use my disability as a weapon against me.

I am not BS-ing you that I don't have an evil side since I have this belief that everyone has an evil side except for one might just not want to face it. (see 墨子)

Since God forbids me from cursing people as per my delusional thoughts...

My evil side is that... the next time somebody pisses me off by using my disabilities (e.g, physical) as a weapon against me, I am gonna beat them up good with my cane 8-O to teach them a lesson on what it means to be like me to be in a "extended partial recovery course." (see page 154 about the process of coming back in Strauss and Corbin (1990) Basics of Qualitative Research: Grounded Theory Procedures and Techniques.) (Oops... a bit too violent... no good modeling to children... not to mention I can't even kill a bug  without squinting or move my own butts fast enough... sigh...  Guess this is the reason why they took my cane away and gave me a walker instead in the cuckoo cuckoo's nest. 8-O lol)

zen moment... zen moment ... God I have sinned... 8-O

Apparently, I am gradually moving into a state of anger... rather than simply low and depressed....

And, of course, if you say... this chick got issues...

No truer words... my head splits and my body broken... etc...

There ain't no doubts that I've got issues... so many that you don't wanna know... 8-O lol sigh

And, I got an issue with being disabled?  Which part of my English don't you understand?  8-O lol sigh