Wednesday, April 6, 2011

How is it their business?

Apparently, my family has done an excellent job hiding my mental health thing from the extended family though it ain't no nothing to be broadcasting about.

Yesterday, I went with my dad visiting my aunt's family.  After dinner, I had a conversation with my cousin who I haven't met for a while.

She wanted to introduce me to some kind of religious people... not quite sure what kind of religion that was...

At this time, I am still very afraid of the religion kind of thing because of its heavy weight in my delusional thinking... historically...

So I told my cousin, "I am afraid of entertaining the religion kinda thing because I am very much like our uncles."

Namely,our eldest uncle and youngest uncle who were both schizophrenic.... and now in a better place.

My cousin laughed at me and exclaimed, "Don't worry so much.  You can't be like them... Don't you know that genetically it is only associated with the male side of the family?"

I was and am not sure where the male and gene association came from... since there surely are female schizophrenics... unless she was referring to conclusions she drawn based on within-family observations. 8-O

Regardless, I looked at her and, must have pondered to myself...


There was this internal drive that wishes to come out and defend my "internal consistency"... 8-O lol

Yet, there was also this thought... what is the point of letting them know at this point?

In February of 2008, when I last went into the river-view dorm with my cohorts by the Hudson River, I asked them this question, "When do you reveal your condition when in a relationship?"
I still remember how my seniors looked at me with a laugh and responded, "How is it their business?"

Then, yesterday, there was no doubt that my motor uncoordinated movements worsened by the prolonged trip in the car was causing quite a bit too much concern to my aunt who walked a bit better than me, my uncles on wheelchair and my cousin.

After I briefly glanced through the face of my uncle on the other side of the table listening to our conversation, I didn't go on defending "myselves" and the topic went on drifting somewhere else.... because... "How is it their business?"

"How is it their business?"

Except for... a different kind of connotation.... no need for flooding here... I guess..

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