在劫難逃 I

Adhering the 臭頭多藥 principle, I went with my dad to a 媽祖廟 to get some advices from 媽祖 via the designated medium.

The last time I came to this temple which is on the 31st floor of a high-rise in Taipei, 三太子 told us to go back home to pay respects to our ancestors. 三太子 also indicated that the prolonged recovery has something to do with a prank played by my ancestors—although it is 天機不可洩露—which one of my ancestors is at fault.

Coming out from the temple and on our way home, my dad asked me this question, which I had asked myself gazillion times more, “Would things have been different should you have gone straight to work right after college and not have studied so much more?”

Without any deliberation, the following response came right out of my mouth, “No. It wouldn't make any difference. It's 在劫難逃.” Sort of like 跑得了和尚跑不了廟 while the “廟” represents the general destiny of mine and 和尚 represents how I choose to live my life. (Hope it makes sense to you.)

Regardless whether I believe in God(s), it is a strange thought that my ancestors would play a prank like such--- rendering me so very retarded in the progress of recovery.

Then, this thought came up to me…

Since it is 在劫難逃 or something bad is destined to happen, my ancestors might have tried to help me by allowing the lesser evil to occur.

I chose to believe in such rationale while my dad did not want to buy it.

After paying respects to our ancestors, dad took me back to the temple again today.

They sat me by the alter next to the medium who relays messages from 媽祖 today.

Following are some of the conversation I had with 媽祖 through the medium although I do not recall all of the conversation and some part of it I might have misunderstood given that the medium was speaking really fast in Taiwanese (exceeding my proficiency level I guess… 8-X).

Of course, we started the session with a brief introduction… “I was in a meeting at work. The chair collapsed under me, I fell in sitting position, and, the recovery is extremely slow when comparing to the others.”

"You know this will have repercussion through your entire life.” So said the medium relaying 媽祖's words (from now on I will simply state 媽祖).

“I know.” (I really do know based on all the things I have learned so far about the spinal kind of problem and the collateral damages to internal organ, according to the Eastern medicine. In addition, wasn't the job I lost as a result of my inability to work part of the collateral damage of the accident?)

“You know?” 媽祖 looked at me with surprise and asked again to reconfirm whether I really meant what I said.

“Yes, I know.”

“You know there is a reason why the chair collapsed under you but not others?” 媽祖 said.

“It is your 劫數 for your 業障.” 媽祖 added.

“What bad thing have I done in my life so far to deserve such experiences?” I asked.

“It was your past life.” 媽祖 said.

“You made a wish to help, contribute and educate as many people as possible.” 媽祖 added.

“I did make a wish to help, contribute and educate as many people as possible.” So I replied.

“I am speaking of your past life.” 媽祖 laughed.

“I am talking about this life.” I replied, sort of confused by my cross-incarnation long anal retentiveness in helping the others…

Apparently, in my past life, I was once a monk and/or once a nun. I made the 菩薩願 to help, contribute and educate as many people as possible.

“If I were a monk, how would I accumulate such much業障—only could be repaid by all my conditions?” I was confused again.

“It was the sin of being jealous—the jealousy about other people being better than you and amounting more than you could amount to…. The jealousy led you to be in others’ way and that's how you got your 業障” 媽祖 replied.

“So, what could I do?”

“Basically, you will need to seek both Western and Eastern medical attentions as well as do good deeds by fulfilling the wish-菩薩願- you have made to help and educate as many people as possible. Your condition will get better within a year or more. However, the speed of your recovery is dependent on your fulfillment of the wish.” 媽祖 elaborated.

媽祖 might have also mentioned it to be a road sort of bumpy to lead…

At this point, I sort of felt victimized by either my past life or karma…

“Why on earth did I make that 菩薩願 in my past life?” I asked this question, thinking to myself… isn't it already difficult enough to be human? Why on earth did I want to be 菩薩?

Thereafter, the medium wrote down some words on the glass table and painted 7 符咒 for me.

I was also instructed to chant 楞嚴咒 because it would be helpful in enlightening my airhead.

The concept of my having been in空門 as a monk or nun seems to make sense for much of my delusional thinking and hallucinations.

At some point, I asked 媽祖 this question with the highest degree of sincerity, “Is this because I was a monk before that I can't stop thinking about 空 to the extent of being 空空 (sort of like "crazy" in English)?”

媽祖 laughed again and responded, “chant 楞嚴咒 and it will help you see 空 in a different capacity.”

On our way back home, I felt a great sense of relief and I told my dad how I felt.

“You feel a sense of relief?” My dad didn't quite understand.

I told him, “Because the conversation with 媽祖today gives me a different perspective to understand my mental and physical condition—or some of the greatest puzzles I have found in my life so far.”

I went to my dentist later in the evening after missing the appointment earlier in the day due to me still in line waiting to communicate with 媽祖.

The dentist asked me when I was on the dentist’ chair, “Do you have 媽祖 temple in New York?”

I responded, “I don't know. Maybe in China Town. But, I frequent cathedrals and churches more often since there are more of them.”

“Then, would 媽祖 be able to take care when you are so far away?” My dentist commented while he started to work on the root canal for my dear bad tooth while me thinking in my head ... “Interesting thoughts.”

It was not until much later did I realize that… it doesn't really matter… or it doesn't matter....

The matter of the fact is that…

On any ordinary day, I hear voices, senses thoughts and communicate with God know’s what…

The matter of the fact is that…

At least, the communications that had carried on between 媽祖 and I or 三太子 and I are much normal since there are other people hearing the medium's voices and the delivered thoughts (as opposed to having my own head as the medium and recipient of the message 8-X).

And, if people by the alter find my interactions with the Gods a bit too weird (sort of like casual conversation with a neighbor), the answer is simple…. It is my everyday living context to be communicating with Gods or all else not classified… whether you or I believe it or not…

----as long as no one is hurt by it and no harm on no one is done....