Print it or no--Shall I apologize for my book? Copycat

On a day when the side effect of Seroquel has gotten ever strong, I managed to pull through The Author's Apology For His Book from Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan

Well, when I had thus put mine ends together, I shew'd them others, that I might see whether They would condemn them, or them justifie; And some said, Let them live; some, Let them die; Some said, John, print it; others said, Not so: Some said, It might do good; others said, No.

Now was I in a straight, and did not see Which was the best thing to be done by me: At last I thought, Since you are thus divided, I print it will, and so the case decided.

I think that there will be at least one person who says to me, "Print It."--who might be me myself.  

Encountering Bunyan's words, I might want to apologize for the mode and style in my upcoming books--even though I can't do work until the dosage down beginning tonight and I am feeling too unwell, with body jerking around and the head refusing to start, to even think of the books.

I shall admit that, reading writing so fine by Bunyan and the others makes me feel shy to pen down any other line. Writers! Pardon me for infringing the sacred place of writing with limited my words. But having to live through what I have to go through to come this far, the books will be finished, save they have to wait.

Shakespear's quotes

I find the following qutoes of Shakespear to my liking. No. I didn't not read through it all within a few hours. These are quotes listed in the free Kindle book Familiar Quotations (Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.)



TWELFTH NIGHT. 

1. Act iii. Sc. 4. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. 

1. Act iii. Sc. 4. Comparisons are odorous.

MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. 

1. Act v. Sc. 1. The poet's eye, in a fine frenzy rolling, Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven, And as imagination bodies forth The forms of things unknown, the poet's pen Turns them to shape, and gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name.

MERCHANT OF VENICE. 

1. Act i. Sc. 1. I hold the world but as the world, Gratiano; A stage, where every man must play a part, And mine a sad one.
2. Act i, Sc. 1. Gratiano speaks an infinite deal of nothing; more than any man in all Venice. His reasons are as two grains of wheat hid in two bushels of chaff: you shall seek all day ere you find them: and, when you have them, they are not worth the search. (Sounds like Shakespear is talking about me. lol)
3. Act ii. Sc. 7. All that glisters is not gold.
4. Act v. Sc. 1. How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.

AS YOU LIKE IT.

1. Act i. Sc. 3. Cel. Not a word? Ros. Not one to throw at a dog.
2. Act ii. Sc. 7. And so from hour to hour we ripe and ripe, And then from hour to hour we rot and rot, And thereby hangs a tale."
3. Act ii. Sc. 7. I must have liberty Withal, as large a charter as the wind, To blow on whom I please.
4. Act ii. Sc. 7. All the world's a stage And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts
5. Act iii. Sc. 8. Truly, I would the gods had made thee poetical. (Talking about me? 8-O)
6. Act iv. Sc. 1. I had rather have a fool to make me merry, than experience to make me sad.

TAMING OF THE SHREW. 

1. Act iv. Sc. 1, And thereby hangs a tale.

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

1. Act v. Sc. 3. Praising what is lost Makes the remembrance dear.

MACBETH.

1. Act i. Sc. 1. Fair is foul, and foul is fair.
2. Act i. Sc. 3. Present fears Are less than horrible imaginings.
3. Act i. Sc. 3. Come what come may, Time and the hour runs through the roughest day.
4. Act iii. Sc. 2. Duncan is in his grave! After life's fitful fever he sleeps well.
5. Act iii. Sc. 4. Stand not upon the order of your going, But go at once.
6. Act iv. Sc. 3. I cannot but remember such things were, That were most precious to me.
7. Act v. Sc. 5. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more; it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

KING JOHN.

1. Act iii. Sc. 4. Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale, Vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.

KING RICHARD II. 

1. Act ii. Sc. 1. The ripest fruit first falls.{60}

FIRST PART OF KING HENRY IV. 

1. Act i. Sc. 2. 'Tis my vocation, Hal; 'tis no sin for a man to labor in his vocation.

FIRST PART OF KING HENRY IV.

1. Act ii. Sc. 4. I was a coward on instinct.
2. Act v. Sc. 4. The better part of valor is—discretion.

SECOND PART OF KING HENRY IV.

1. Act i. Sc. 2. I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.

SECOND PART OF KING HENRY VI. 

1. Act iii. Sc. 1. Smooth runs the water where the brook is deep.
2. Act iii. Sc. 3. He dies and makes no sign.

THIRD PART OF KING HENRY VI. 

1. Act v. Sc. 6. Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind; The thief doth fear each bush an officer.

KING RICHARD III

1. Act iv. Sc. 4. An honest tale speeds best, being plainly told
2. Act v. Sc. 4. A horse! a horse! My kingdom for a horse!

JULIUS CAESAR.

1. Act i. Sc. 2. But, for mine own part, it was Greek to me.
2. Act ii. Sc. 2. Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.
3. Act iii. Sc. 2. Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.
4. Act iv. Sc. 2. There are no tricks in plain and simple faith.

ROMEO AND JULIET.

1. Act v. Sc. 1. My poverty, but not my will, consents.

HAMLET.

1. Act i. Sc. 4. Let me not burst in ignorance!
2. Act i. Sc. 5. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
3. Act ii. Sc. 2. Brevity is the soul of wit.
4. Act ii. Sc. 2. Though this be madness, yet there's method in it.
5. Act iii. Sc. 1. To be, or not to be? that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind, to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And, by opposing, end them?—To die—to sleep— No more—and, by a sleep, to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to—'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To die—to sleep— {85} To sleep! perchance, to dream—ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause.
6. Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
7. Act iv. Sc. 5. When sorrows come, they come not single spies, But in battalions!

OTHELLO.

1. Act ii. Sc. 1. For I am nothing, if not critical.
2. Act iii. Sc. 3. O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster, which doth make The meat it feeds on.

I haue ...

This nice quote from the bible should be the ending of the DWM book.

“I haue fought a good fight, I haue finished my course, I haue kept the faith.”
2 Timothy iv. 7., 1611 King James Version  

Thine own mouth

No wonder I run mouth on myself all the times ...

Luke xix. 22. Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee.

Various (2009-10-04). Familiar Quotations (Kindle Locations 196-197). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition. 

Peal before swine

Never knew where the express "peal before swine" comes from ...

Matthew vii. 6. Neither cast ye your pearls before swine.
Various (2009-10-04). Familiar Quotations (Kindle Location 172). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition. 

Thou knowest not what a day may bring forth

Guess this is why I have to stay in the present for it's true, though knoest not what a day may bring forth such as a chair collapsed under me in a meeting. 8-O lol 8-X

Proverbs 27 Boast not thyself of to-morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.

Various (2009-10-04). Familiar Quotations (Kindle Location 135). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition. 

Who is the audience and why?

My friends' comments made me worried.

The book, even with DWM itself as a book, is too long.

Feedback from both sources resonates with a question I have been asked far too often: Who is the audience?

My answer now is: The audience is the research community. The purpose as getting the dataset published so as to reach those who might be interested in making use of the data.

I believe the dataset could do some help. It's just I won't be the person to analyze my own data.

Essentially, I am publishing DWM as a book in search of the people who can make use of it, find implications based on it, and help my fellows and I with it.

Come to think about it, from the beginning of my blogging era, what I have been doing is sending the SOS to all the researchers on psychosis on the planet and beyond.

"This is what I can offer. Please take what I can offer, turn it into Gold ... into real-life implications.  Help us, including me, and help us to help ourselves."

Can you hear me now? 8-O



From craving and meaning

Let me still be researchable.
Let me be that row in your dataset.
Let me be that dot in your analysis.
Let me hope that to be a useful dot in your sea of data. Outlier or not.
Let me give you the burden of understanding our collective being for I might have stopped kicking before we get to connect the dots.
Let you be my extended cognition to off set some of my meaning craving so that I could go back to my life working on deadlines to be made and tasks to be accomplished (including finding a good paying job and a rich husband who lets me use my money lol).

What differentiate a content provider and a writer?

It's God's honest truth that I really have a beef with my own writing--the more I read it, the more of "a beef" I have with it. I have no idea why I can't write elegantly like other people. Man.

Then, this thought came upon my mind: What differentiate a content provider and a writer?

The former contributes content and the later writes. According to a friend of mine who's a copyeditor, content providers are not necessary writers?

Good thing I never claim myself to be a writer since I am possibly a content provider who fails in the writing department.

Yet, even if I assume myself as a content provider, it still doesn't resolve the original issue of "why I can't write elegantly like other people." 8-O lol

Kafka-thou hast depth

Just listened to Kafka's Metamorphosis again as I was brainlessly inserting hyperlinks for the Kindle version of my book.

It's an absolutely powerful story in simple language (at least based on the English version).

My after-thought: Kafka, thou hast depth.

I have a dream: Some day someone will find value and help in the Ratology book.

If I thought the process of working on proofreading the Ratology book is tedious, I didn't know jack. The process of formatting the book to according to Kindle and Create Space standards, respectively, is a real killer--killing me softly with physical pain.

In any case, one thought I have in mind when silently enduring my suffering is: Will it help?

I have a dream: Some day someone will find value and help in the Ratology book.

When the day comes, I will have to thank that someone for making my dream comes true.

Please find below the full Table of Contents (that you won't find in the book itself).

hard to write a book description

It's hard to write a book description.

I think the reason why it's difficult is because you are supposed to write that description to sell your writing to others.

So far in my life, I have only write to write rather write to sell.  A different skill I guess.

Book description trail - semi-thriller

Does this version sound too grandious?

What happens as one first encounters psychosis? What happens when psychosis becomes an ordinary part of life? Overwhelmed by persecution, I started to write and journal in response to the conspiracy theories surrounding me as early as in year 2000. What's to be revealed in Ratology Evolutions: Ratprincess's Psychotic Discourse is the journaling of a journey in the sea of psychosis, tainted by disordered thoughts and hallucinations. One thing to keep in mind when reading real-life journal is: "What portion of the discourse is in response to real (i.e., shared by others) events?" Be sure to stay centered for if you can't stay afloat in the sea of my madness, you might sink with me.

My personal account is littered with references to my cultural background, and coupled with a thoughtful, academic treatise which attempts to provide a more structured view of my journey. Readers will get a tantalizing glimpse into the lives of those living with mental health conditions, physical disabilities, and chronic pain. It could be a supplementary reading to those interested in psychosis including students and those in the mental health field.

Would it interest people? (I know ... I never really get comments even when openly solicit comments. 問也是白問。lol )

book description trail - journal

Although this book referenced to events in past psychotic episodes (e.g., Apocalypse) or daily life, one key notion the readers have to keep in mind when reading writing in my journaling format is: What portion of the discourse is in response to real (i.e., shared by others) events? If you can't stay centered, you sink into madness with me.

book description trials: fish

This is a story about my psychosis and me.
This is a story about the relationship between my psychosis and me.

I think, you think, everyone else think. But my psychosis is mute despite hallucinations. My psychosis is mute because it simply does its own thing.

Could I run, climb, dance, and bear weight again?

Could this line of technology also help my body to regain the ability to run, climb, dance and bear weight again , though all my limbs are intact--just the body pays no mind to my intention? A dream of mine. Fulfill-able? The question.

Good luck to projects alike to help those who can benefit it and end disabilities.

"Basic level of physical function should be a part of our human rights. Every person should have the right to live life without disability if they so choose."

A dream: Backpacking

On my way back from NYC to Taipei in April, I managed to get myself an extended layover (over 2 weeks) in Japan, landing at and exiting from the Narita Airport ... with a real luggage other than my backpack carrying my laptop, camera, two external hard drive, and essential documents.

I did an extensive though not as in-depth as possible trip in Japan. I went as far north as Kessennuma (氣仙沼) and Sendai, and saw work people put forth in the area affected by tsunami to rebuilt their cities and economy. I went as south as Miyajima in Hiroshima.  I also visited Osaka, Kyoto, Nagoya, Tokyo, Narita, and stayed at 山中湖 Yamanaka-ko by Mt. Fuji.


Other than all the new experience (which will not be covered here), like in all other places on this planet, one consistent theme throughout the trip was the never-ending pursuit in search of a disability access and the detours I have to take to avoid stairs. lol

Moreover, a thrifty (necessary since I am selling all things off to pay my bills so as to get the book out) backpacker like me also would like to take the train into the Narita airport.  I did it with 3 steps.

1. I physically did a trip taking a tour from Narita to Narita airport to see whether there is an elevator going from the platform. I also walked all the way to the check-in counter to see how I might be able to carry my luggage, too heavy for me (though considered light by the others).
2. Since I had to get to the airport by 6-7 o'clock and the freaking hostel I stayed at was on the 3rd floor and without an elevator, plus less than "no service" provided by the owner, I actually troubled another guest to help me carry my luggage downstairs and stored the luggage at the locker of the train station the night before. This is because I won't find anyone to help me carry the luggage down and might not be able to get a cap 5 o'clock in the morning.
3. On the morning of the departure, I got to the station, got my luggage, took the JR train, arrived at the airport, put the luggage on the cart, wheeled it to the check-in counter, and checked in.

My body was a wreck and it took me weeks if not months to recover although ...

my dream since 2007 finally came true because I went backpacking  and I got myself to the airport the same thrifty way the other backpackers do.

Sure, a mental and physical handicapped like me should just stay home and be disabled. Yet, my dream came true.

(This is cross-posted in Ratology at Large.)

A dream: Mango Ice 芒果冰

Because of my bodily condition, I can not have ice or drink icy drinks and I haven't had anything icy since 2008.

Therefore, for years I had a dream. I wanted to try out this world famous Taiwanese Mango Ice 芒果冰, which I was too cheap to buy in my healthy days.

Finally, I went with two pals to Ice Monster bought myself one of the following bowls of ice.

I tasted something like 1-2 spool of ice and that was it. Unfortunately, albeit with hot water as the chaser, bodily pain emerge right after and I had to quickly take a hot shower and an Alleve to kill the pain.

Regardless, on July 8th, 2014, I bought myself Mango Ice 芒果冰 and get a dream fulfilled.

Only if the fulfillment of all dreams could simply be bought.

A dream: walking around with my laptop

I decided to carry my 3-pound laptop out with me today.  Didn't walk too far or too long but it is a great accomplishment, since I was tired out after my trip in Japan. It also fulfills yet another dream of mine: having the leisure and the ability to carry a laptop and do work wherever, like everyone else.

Regardless, on July 25th,, 2014, I made this dream come true despite of the short distance covered.

book description

I thought the introduction chapter was bad since you need to know what you are talking about in order to introduce the book.

Now I realize that writing book description is even worse since I will have to capture my ideas in even fewer words. 8-X

My shrinking head

A new study found that other than ordinary aging, my antipsychotic medication might have contributed to the faster rate for my brain to shrink ... with me possibly having fewer brain cells and connections than normal.

They say that the shrunken brain has not been found to "have effect on people" such as cognitive capacity, although I wonder whether it's dependent on how cognitive capacity is defined.

Antipsychotic drugs linked to slight decrease in brain volume

Original article: Longitudinal Changes in Total Brain Volume in Schizophrenia: Relation to Symptom Severity, Cognition and Antipsychotic Medication

(This is cross-posted in Research Kinda Thing)

Anyone have a recommendation for a self-publishing company?

Albeit with the clairvoyance that ain't nobody is gonna respond, I have this question to post to the world:

Anyone have a recommendation for a self-publishing company?

9-copy book

I had thought that my previous book aka my dissertation sold 10 copies.  Ended up, as per the following blurb, it sold 8 copies.  As a result, I only need to sell 9 copies of this Ratology boook to break my own record. GSD!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006
The Check
Got a check in the mail today. Eight copies of my dissertation, which contained 90 percent statistically insignificant results, were sold. A big fat check—$10.15 I was paid. lol.
Hooray!
Just don’t ask me about the return on investment for the calculation of ROI is postponed till the time when we reach a ratio of greater than zero. lol.

From the view of a normal: What it be like to be psychotic?

Just watched the clip where Anderson Cooper experimented with auditory hallucination, one of the classic psychotic symptoms, and his take on it.

Anderson takes part in an experiment to help understand how people live with mental illness

The simulation as seen on the clip does a good job in representing what it be like to live with voices. Personally, when my voices got to be at the level that Mr. Cooper had to experience, my mental health condition would have been very bad with the presence of thought broadcasting and "telepathy" coexisting as well.  It's gotta be tough for him to pull it through.

At the same time, I suspect that the comment Mr. Cooper made about how he couldn't wait to turn the voices off absolutely resonates with all who live with symptoms like auditory hallucination. 

What did I bring with me into the psychiatric ward the first time I was hospitalized?

I found an old textbook that I had great difficulties locating online nowadays if not simply everywhere else:

Haag, S., Cummings, M., & Dawkins, J. (2000). Management information systems for the information age. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill/Irwin

Afterwards, this question came to my mind, "What did I bring with me into the psychiatric ward the first time I was hospitalized?"

Apparently, although I didn't even bring underpants with me into the psychiatric ward, let alone other types of clothing, I somehow might have gone into the Club Meds with Management information systems for the information age by Haag, Cummings, & Dawkins (2000). (Ask me not why or how on earth this exact book is still in my possession after my move from New York. 8-O 8-X)

The ugly handwriting on the paper was mine. Yes. 8-X
In this picture, you can find my daily journal in the psychiatric ward, the textbook text I referred to in the first paragraph of the journal, and the digitized text on the screen in the back.

A lady, big love sign, and Niagara Falls

For years, I searched and searched for the text of a short story I read, possibly, as a freshman in college.

All that I recalled was a young lady, a guy, a motel/hotel with a big love sign, a trip involving a tube or something alike going down the Niagara Falls.

I think I even went in person to the public library by the Niagara Falls and contacted them through email to see whether they might know of the story. All attempts failed.  Might have something to do with the fact that I ain't got no inkling about the author name and the title--other than what I could recall.

Like how I felt about Françoise and her headless chicken de Proust, as time goes by, I am starting to doubt whether I really read that story.

Then, earlier tonight, I found my notebooks from the college years on a bookshelf. In one of the notebook, adjacent to the page where the author name Margaret Atwood appeared was a page where I found the name Emma (possibly a fictional figure who had encountered near-death experience as per my notes).

Ended up, after decades of searching and searching, there really is a short story written about "a lady, big love sign, and Niagara Falls." (Gotta admit that there were even errors in the limited amount of info that I could recall. lol)

So, that text I have been searching for like a headless fly is "The Whirlpool Rapids" by Margaret Atwood.

P.S., Love the word sauntering used in the text. No wonder I am a two-bit nothing amateur capable only of producing limited my words. lol 8-X

A thought on an additional feature for google map

The issue of disability access for public transportation emerged in a conversation today and it led my head to come up with some ideas.

Don't know what it is like for the others.  Personally, my physical disability has a direct impact on my SES although it ain't like I was above the low SES for so many years.  Like... between 2005 to 2007 right before my accident? 8-O lol sigh

If you are handicapped like me who is stuck in the lower SES, chances are, you will be using the public transportation when going around places as opposed to taxing around. Also if you are a disabled like me whose condition isn't considered as physical disabilities by the system, public transportation surely is the only way to go (e.g., subway, metro, bus).

For newer subway or metro systems, it's more likely to incorporate the "disability access" component into the blueprint.  Yet, for older subway or metro systems, such as those in New York, London, and Paris, which might have been built before passenger elevators are a commodity in ordinary buildings, it's more likely for stations to have not disability access. As a result, if you ask around, a lot of people with disabilities living in cities with older systems might eventually take it to busing to avoid the hassle of finding a station disability access. 

When in New York and when planning trips, I sometimes will use Google Map to help me identify the best route--meaning a route that would minimize the chance of my having to do them stairs.  Let's take a real trip I made to Dyckman Street from W. 108th st. in New York this winter after some snowstorms for example.

Google map helped me identified several routes.

However, on my end, I have to take into the following into consideration, especially when I had never gotten off from the Dyckman Station.

1. Are there elevators installed at this station?

2. If this station is not, since the subway in uptown Manhattan started to run above the ground, are the stairs on the outside and possibly covered by "ice" as opposed to snow?

Ended up, I might have taken the route shown in the picture because I know there are elevators in 168th street station and transferred to M100.

Make no mistake.  This is no complaint.  This is but a description of an event that happens too many a time and possibly not only to me.

The conversation I had earlier led me to think though... since Google Map already does a good job in providing potential routes to destinations, maybe it could incorporate an additional feature with the feature aiming to help people needing disability access to identify the most suitable route.   

Though based on a naive theory, I figure ... perhaps, all that's needed is to have information on which station has elevators and perhaps, at which exit. Given the sophistication of the information the app is capable of providing, it can't be too difficult to add the "elevator" and "exit" variables into the database and the algorithm? (Though I can tell you out front that me ain't got no idea how they found me that route behind the scene and what I have in mind requires the collection and maintenance of information on metro/subway systems globally. Easier said than done. lol 8-X))

Sure, elevators can be under-maintenance or disability accessible might mean slopes. Yet, much better than none!

So it concludes a thought on an additional feature for google map.

P.S., Why using elevator as an indicator as opposed to escalators? Sometimes, escalators don't go all the way to the ground floor or might skip in between floors.

(This is cross-posted at Ratology Reloaded.)

A few words on the final version of the Ratology Book

I have wasted my life away plowing through with the Ratology Book: Ratprincess' 11-copy book--trying to get it done after having all contents edited by copyeditors 3 times and more iterations by me's, myselves, and I's.

Then, I realized that the styles I have applied to the main text were exhibiting abnormal behaviors. This is it. If it's not because there is a ghost in my computer, it means God is sending me a message--that's it ... whether I believe in ghosts or God.

This is not putting me in a good mood especially after draining myself all these years in all capacity.

As a result, I have decided that there are 4 possible versions of the book

• Version 1. A book with the front and back cover without words.
• Version 2. A book with the preface section only where you will find only two words: 有鬼
• Version 3: A book with only the prologue section where you will find the documentation leading up to my onset
• Version 4: A book with the majority of the content except stripping the entire model because I don't have the energy to reapply styles to each every post so as to link to them to back up the argument in the model
• Version 5: A book containing all content available today except the gaps are none of my business to fill

Given the way it goes and the reality that the style shown on the side panel is in-congruent with what is shown on the stylesheet, it's very likely that, by the end of this project, I will only be offering you a book without words. It just seems like God's will that version 1 is the preferable version independent of all things.

C'est ca.

Heading remain

Heading Gone

Hallucination is a fact

I came across this quote by Bertrand Russel that absolutely resonates with how I conceive my psychotic symptoms if not simply my entire existence.  Think I would it with you.

"A hallucination is a fact, not an error; what is erroneous is a judgment based upon it."

No truer words.  It's like them hallucinations and delusions are absolutely natural in their own rights since, after all, they are but the product of the nature. My plight, as a psychotic, is the habitual erroneous MO to make judgment based upon them.

Over six years at large!

I have never really celebrated Valentine's Day, especially not since 2008. Because Valentine's Day 2008 was the day I was last locked up behind the gated doors with a walker as the moving aid, Valentine's Day brings me more scares than anything else. 8-O lol

Right now, New York Time, 2/15/2014.

Albeit with the ups and downs in my symptom levels since 2008, into the seventh year--I have managed to keep myself at large (knock on wood and, the mental God, there is no doubt that I bow in front for you).

Happy At Large Day!

(A note I dared not even entertain till I am sure that it's Feb. 15th already.  Chicken-shit la! lol)

Down with Meds -- A revelation of Ratology (Recovered): 歡喜就好

Ratology needs to be studied? 8-O

As I am plowing away in the dungeon of my own words in yet another kinda Selva Oscura due to the uncertainty about how to get the texts of DWM processed and wondering why on earth I have to get this done other than I have come so far, I found the following quote in the 1866 Documents of the Assembly of the State of New York or Annual Report of the American Institute of the City of New York

So they said in 1866, "Ratology needs to be studied"? 8-O lol

Though. .. please refer to the following for contextual information on why the legislature assembly of New York State would issue a document with a quote as such in 1866.

Ratprincess' psychotic model 2013 and Happy New Year!

I have been talking about this book I have been working on.  Unfortunately, not too many a person has seen the ghost of it, not to mention IT, while in my imaginary world, too many a person has reviewed it along the way since before the beginning of the model where there was only less than one page of texts.

In the beginning, there is the psychotic model.

The model is destined to be imperfect, an exact mirror image of the existence of me's, myselves and I's.  Imperfect as well is the language, which I had to use to get the model constructed, with the nature of the language yet to be defined.

I would have loved to give you a cleaner copy of the model and have it proofread for many more an iteration except I have a deadline: I promised my head to have Ratprincess' psychotic model 2013 out by the end of 2013.

Here it is... where Ratprincess' psychotic model 2013 resides, still undergoing renovation, the second section of "Ratprincess' 11-Copy Book" (only need to sell 11 copies of it to break my own record, the sales of my dissertation 8-O lol).

Let me reiterate it yet again... it's a drafty draft of some non-academic writing.  Would have loved to incorporate this happy rat in the watermark.  Unfortunately, yours truly has nothing artistic in her.  Would have to leave it to you to combine the image of this happy creature and the word "Draft" in your episodic buffer manually.

Happy New Year wherever you are!!!

An ode to Comma

After all these years of mindless use of the English language, one thing I came to realize this year is that, above and beyond everything else, I really don't no jack about comma and I think I might have contributed greatly to the plight of comma as depicted in the following illustration. 8-O lol 8-X

Poor comma, my bad.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/21/the-most-comma-mistakes/?_r=0

Proofreaders needed for Down with Meds

My head finally authorizes me to move to the phase of getting the texts of "Down with Meds" proofread.

Knowing how popular and well-read my blogs like Ratology Reloaded are (oops... 8-X lol), I decided to post the link to my odesk job post here... in case anyone who religiously read this blog wants to take on a part-time job in proofreading my incurably Bad English. 8-X

The following is the job description and the link to the job post:
"I have a substantial amount of writing to be proofread. Since the writing is equivalent to qualitative data, there only thing I want from the proof reader is to have the grammatical and syntax errors corrected so as to retain the integrity of the data. The texts to be edited were part of the documentation of a psychotic patient. Please contact me if you are interested."

https://www.odesk.com/jobs/~~0cfe3db0541a1726

12/22/2013 Update: The positions are filled for this job.

A tale of Mental Illness--Elyn Saks

A great talk to share with you...



At some point into her talk when she was speaking of her struggles to get off meds, been there, done that, and today I only wish to be down with meds except the side effects have a bad habit of getting in the way.

Ratology lingo

(1/8/2014 Update: Please see http://neologyratology.blogspot.com/2014/01/ratology-lingo-update.html for the updated Ratology Lingo list)

My writing in the Ratology domain is mostly nothing too close to standard English.  I know it along the way but since I have been using language this way so long, many of the usages have become the standardized Ratology usage.  (Of course, some part of my strange English is simply due to either mindless mistakes or my not-knowing-English-too-well kind of error. 8-O lol)

After I went through the notes and edits of proofreaders who went through the model I developed on my psychosis, I got to better identify how Ratology lingo deviates from standard English. One thing I have to stress is that I have no way to tell whether these preferred usages are a manifestation of the pathology or not--could be and could be not. Following is a list of Ratology language usage (still a work in process) with some of the points actually already mentioned in the Neologism in Ratology blog.

1. Me’s, myselves, and Is.  Nothing grand and no mistakes... given my split-headed existence and as an attempt to acknowledge all the voices etc in me... there came... "mes, myselves, and Is."
2. I like to put words together to create a new word.
3. I like to build sentences this way: aberrant my brain structure or limited my words as opposed to my aberrant brain structure or my limited words
4. I like to build sentences this way: verb+not as in turn right not
5. I use emoticons to express feelings :-O :-X :-D lol
6. I like the sound of what it be like as opposed to what would it be like
7. I like to use da, them, la, etc as opposed to the standardized the
8. I like to use double negatives: should there be no nothing
9. I like the word: Donno
10. I like the word: Ain’t
11. I use the notion of “self” a lot because being psychotic is all about all things relating to me’s, myselves, and I’s.  Therefore, terminologies like self-related.
12. I like to use vernacular language
13. I use the term “the normal” to refer to “the non-psychotic”
14. Sometimes psychotic is used as a noun to represent a person with psychosis
15. In terms of comma, I really don’t know my commas too well.  However, sometimes that comma I put in does mean a pause partially because I do think slowly and there are pauses between my thoughts
16. The Apocalypses and the notion of being killed a million and a time I speak of refer to the scenarios at the height of my second full-blown psychotic episode.
17. Bend and snap: As per Elle in Legally Blond, "In my experience, it has a 98% success rate of getting a man's attention and when used appropriately -- it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation. It's called the 'bend and snap.'" As per yours truly, I might have to swap "a man's attention" to "my symptoms' attention" and "a dinner invitation" to "an increase in medications." 8-O lol
18. I use the word “la” at the end of the sentence at times. Since 2-3 years ago and after I went back to Taiwan, I picked up this usage of "la" because I simply like it la! Them "la's" you see in my writing, it's the pinyin of the Chinese character "啦":  a final particle of assertion.

(This writing is cross-posted in Neologism in Ratology.)

Frankl and I Broke My Neck But That Didn't Break Me

A clip I found with Viktor Frankl in it with a gentleman whose neck was broken but it didn't break him.  Think it's really... powerful...

Something to share with you... (unfortunately the site doesn't allow me to embed the clip here so please click on the link.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_lmMl4P7cQ

A historical first time experience: got a cell number

The last time I had the most traumatic experience in my life... I lost my beloved 212 phone number... still could feel that pain... (you know how hard it is to get a 212 number!) 8-O

Today is the sequel... I don't wanna do it but I have to do it... I had to get myself a cell number and lose that identity as one of the last surviving Luddite without a cell...

Anyways, however traumatic that identity loss might be, I, for the first time in my life, got a cell number of my own.

If you wonder, why don't I want to use a cell phone and carry it with me on the road?  Is it because I am a paranoid delusional fearing that people might track me etc?

Albeit the 99.9% principle, I am 100% sure that it's not the reason (for once in my life).

Let me put it this way, in my imaginary world, people monitor and record everything I say and do 24/7 even when I did not have a cellphone.  Using a cellphone absolutely would not add more to that 24/7 grade of monitoring and recording.  Ain't like... well... now they now can monitor and record everything 25/8? lol

Why do I refuse to have a cellphone?  Just don't like it and I don't like to talk on the phone anyways.  8-O lol  

Loose cannon in NYC

I really am insane.

So there is the feeling that my naive model of my psychosis is finally in shape and time to get back to NYC.

And, in NYC tonight while having no idea at all where that proof reader/editor of mine is still.

Insane in my own eyes... don't know what it be like in yours.

Good old writings

Getting old... forgetting what I memorized as an even springer chicken and finding myself skipping things left and right when trying to recite them good old poems... like the following...

What mastery with words!  Wow!

念奴嬌 赤壁懷古　　蘇軾

大江東去，浪淘盡，千古風流人物。
故壘西邊，人道是，三國周郎赤壁。
亂石崩雲，驚濤裂岸，捲起千堆雪；江山如畫，一時多少豪傑。
遙想公瑾當年，小喬初嫁了，雄姿英發，羽扇綸巾，談笑間，強虜灰飛煙滅。
故國神遊，多情應笑我，早生華髪。
人生如夢，一尊還酹江月。

宣州謝朓樓餞別校書叔雲 李白

棄我去者，昨日之日不可留；
亂我心者，今日之日多煩憂。
長風萬里送秋雁，對此可以酣高樓。
蓬萊文章建安骨，中間小謝又清發。
俱懷逸興壯思飛，欲上青天攬明月。
抽刀斷水水更流，舉杯銷愁愁更愁。
人生在世不稱意，明朝散發弄扁舟。

將進酒 李白

君不見黃河之水天上來，
奔流到海不復回？
君不見高堂明鏡悲白髮，
朝如青絲暮成雪？

人生得意須盡歡，
莫使金樽空對月。
天生我才必有用，
千金散盡還復來。
烹羊宰牛且為樂，
會須一飲三百杯。

岑夫子，丹丘生，
將進酒，杯莫停。
與君歌一曲，
請君為我傾耳聽：
鍾鼓饌玉不足貴，
但願長醉不願醒。
古來聖賢皆寂寞，
唯有飲者留其名。
陳王昔時宴平樂，
斗酒十千恣讙謔。
主人為何言少錢？
徑須沽取對君酌。

五花馬、千金裘。
呼兒將出換美酒，
與爾同銷萬古愁。

First time experience: Just Got Paid! 8-O

Since my blogs are so "well-read," I have given up on seeing the day to come when I get a check from google Adsense and use it more or less as an alternative means to cross-check the stats gathered through google stats.

(To show you an example of how well-read my blogs are... there were 31 hits on Ratology Reloaded yesterday and it includes visits from browsers who might have browsed through but didn't stop, or bots accessing my blog to entice me to go to some sites, etc... 8-O lol)

Then, somehow I checked the gmail account I hardly check today and found this strange email, which I automatically classified as a spam mail...

Since I just wrote something down a day or two ago about how it might take me another 1-2 decades to get enough hits to get a check from google Adsense, out of curiosity, I clicked on this email and found the following content...

I checked all parts of the email and tried to figure out how this might be a phishing email... though... all parts seemed quite legit.

So I logged in to my adsense account and found that it really said that an amount of 100 dollars something was transferred to my account.

How could a check that is to come in 1-2 decades have arrived like 3 days ago?  Can't be right?!

So I logged in to my bank account and... OMG... just got paid by Google Adsense for the first time!

Also for the first time in my life, I got paid for the dungeon I built for myself with limited my words... from Down with Meds to Ratology Reloaded... Wow... That is grand!  Ain't no nothing grander than that! A historic moment in Ratology! Something worth me to shed a tear or two albeit the fact that TNT is for drama...

P.S., Now what's going on in the head of your paranoid delusional with grandiosity is... Oh... Lord... now my eternal love and IRS is watching me closely... I can envision myself under investigation and state... "My name is Ratprincess Ratology and I take the Fifth." 8-O lol

First time experience: Started a fire!

Today is the Mid Autumn festival and we decided to do a BBQ at home on a night when da typhoon rabbit gave us a break so that I got to see the full moon hanging high in the skies..

We didn't start the fire but...



I proudly did... for the first time in my life!



BBQ meat, vegi and fish...

魚下巴

while the song I sang to the first fire I started was...



So it concludes the post on "Started a fire for the first time."

La recherche... Du Temps perdu

When cleaning up all them papers piling up, I couldn't find Nelson and Naren's article.  So I went on searching and searching till, haphazardly, I found on my desk journals I took when I went into the psychiatric ward for the first time... while I still didn't know (or believe) I was psychotic.

An especially interesting paragraph to come across drafted on June 17th, 2001... possibly the 9th day behind the gated doors.

"I only wish everything could just stop here. Just leave me alone. I wish the taping process, doesn't matter by whom, could come to an end. I want everything to stop. It, somehow, has turned to be a soap opera of some sort. It does not deserve... I don't deserve people's attention and energy. I am just a simple person and I am but an workaholic. That's all."

Same words still applicable for yours paranoid delusional with grandiosity to use today and many days before and after today.

Except today, so I also say to myself...

"Cut that drama part already... you want drama, go watch TNT.  How is it your business someone wiretapping you or not?  Ain't like you are endowed in the wealth, fame, or power kinda department.  Get the shxt done so that one day you can bring a penny or two in and I can spare a bit of money to do work in an AC condition.  Shut the front door, get done with your work, and go make the body feel more comfortable!" (Developmental outcome? 8-O lol sigh)

Taiwanese singer... 陳雷

Someone came to visit this post... Down with Meds -- A revelation of Ratology (Recovered): 歡喜就好

5-6 years after the rise of Ratology Reloaded, his songs remain... 讚啦！

Without interuptions, let me present to you the Taiwanese songs by the singer...  陳雷.

1 and 1/2 of 25 mg +-

The night I made the post on dosage adjustment... I realized that I actually took 1 and 1/4 of 25 mg Seroquel by mistake since there was still 3/4 of the 25 mg pill left in the pill cutter.  Since going down from 50 mg (2 25 mg pills) is almost like going down by 50 percent, ain't no way of doing dosage adjustment.  Why didn't I suffer more from the dosage adjustment and the withdrawal?  Guess, having been exceptionally overdosed for all these months, still quite a bit of residuals of Seroquel in the body.

That night, I took the 1 and 3/4 of the 25 mg pills to be on the safe side.  Forget about the fish on the cutting board when trying to fall asleep, I spent the next day feeling the entire body all tight... uncomfortable.

It was then did I decide... what about 1 and 1/2 instead?  Taking the middle value?  From then on to date, still dosage adjustment though at the amount of 1 and 1/2 of 25 mg +-... still the "unmentioned."

This is why... crying out loud... "Where is my cure?"  A cure that free me of the symptoms, the side effects of the medication, and the never-ending dosage adjustment!



Ratology Reloaded: 1 and 3/4 of 25 mg +-: So, after a prolonged wait (months), in the face of the ever intensifying fish on the cutting board and the fear for esophageal spasm , dos...

Where is my cure?

10 years ago, it was estimated that a cure can be found for Schizophrenia as Possible in 10 Years.  Alright... it's 2013... if schizophrenia can be cured, they gotta be able to cure me of my mental department!

We are here; we are waiting!

(Please view the clip from 57 second if it doesn't start from 57 second into the clip as I had it set up.)

From my first skype interview to the legal thing...

Had my first Skype interview just now... when discussing the potential of doing translation work, I told the interviewer that there are things beyond my bandwidth... no quantum mechanics and no nothing in legal, for instance.

After the interview, so I pondered to myself, no quantum mechanics... I can fully comprehend... but that thing I feel about legal documents... is it grounded in anything?

So I decided to look up a case online... such as RICARDO MARRERO, PETITIONER v. UNITED STATES... and...

The thing I feel about legal documents... there surely is a reason for it.  In no way will I be able to tasks alike.  Case closed.

1 and 3/4 of 25 mg +-

So, after a prolonged wait (months), in the face of the ever intensifying fish on the cutting board and the fear for esophageal spasm, dosage change again... decreasing from 50 mg to 1 and 3/4 of 25 mg +- (since there is no way to cut a 25 mg pill in equal quars).

The adjustment... live it like how I have to live it before... just the reloading of the same old scenario... unmentioned cuz no need to mention no more. 8-X lol sigh



Ratology Reloaded: My biggest struggle--again: I really don't wanna have no nothing to do with this struggle again... why... all these months... just let it be 2 whole pills... as lo...

My biggest struggle--again

I really don't wanna have no nothing to do with this struggle again... why... all these months... just let it be 2 whole pills... as long as enough cognitive capacity to do some work now and then.

With the intensified fish on the cutting board... might have to jump back to the sea of suffering... pill cutter here I come!

Really 苦海無涯 (there is no end to the sea of suffering)... just kept on getting sucked back to da aqua... (Geez... I really have low tolerance for suffering... This also accounts for suffering? But do it yourself and you shall know... 8-O lol)



Ratology Reloaded: My biggest struggle: This past two months or so, every night, I have to fight this biggest struggle in my life... cutting pills (8-O lol) The task of cutting a...

A cup of coffee--a benchmark

Finally took a trip outside of Taiwan again... just thought... since there is an opportunity, might as well go and do my walking somewhere else...

I actually had no set plan on where to go and what to see... just going with the flow... perhaps, making it to find the City God Temple 城隍廟  in Shanghai--a temple I had thought might exist, was told to exist not, and finally found out that it really exists after I came back to Taiwan 3 years ago.

There was one thing I wanted to do at the beginning of the journey... My friends' family were flying to Taiwan on the same day although we were not taking the same flight and going to the same airport.  Knowing that their flight will take off 2-3 hours earlier than mine, I had in my mind this big plan... sort of... to go into town and have a sip of coffee at a coffee shop.

Possibly due to the fact that they know how not too useful my body is, they were worried and wanted me to have a cup of coffee at the airport instead. lol

Yet, I bid them farewell when they were getting on to the airport bus and ventured on to my final destination... an unknown coffee shop... where I'd be sipping my cup of coffee... people watching.

I knew what was to come... the empire of my body strikes back albeit my rehab efforts.  The weight of the luggage, however minimal I packed, still would do damage.  I was prepared and I was prepared to find all means to minimize the damage.

I found myself a coffee shop and sat down to leisurely have my cup of coffee... not the first one, not the second one... I made my efforts to search for a coffee shop and, en route, walked a bit more around the Shatin Mall.  Which one to choose?  As per the order of my body...  the Pacific Coffee.

On August 16th, 2013, thousands of people might have visited the Mall, many more a person got a cup of coffee from this shop, quite a few of them sat on one of the seats while I was there or not... The same day when that cup of coffee that I drank and the whole 9 yards it entailed happens to be yet another benchmark I made this year.  Surely, there was setback in my bodily condition... yet with minimized repercussions... which could be "repaired" within a few days.

I, like what other travellers do, I walked with luggages hanging at the Mall.  I sat down at a coffee shop, drank my cup of coffee, watched the people around, and did some work.

So it is... a cup of coffee... a benchmark. (Man... I surely am ambitious... ain't I? 8-O lol)

Screw

While working on my translation job, I saw this sentence... "one screw having problem... community of the same destiny."

I saw the word screw... I thought of the chair from which I fell from... all because one screw having problem...  I surely was screwed by the screw and never came to appreciate the power of a screw till today (though the accident took place over 6 years ago).  8-O lol sigh

Yet, the screw did screw the whole system... with the chair collapsed onto the group in one piece... the community of the same destiny... How is it my business to get screwed by the screwed screwed? An alternative version of my can't mind my own business disorder?  8-O lol

Regardless, first time to really understand the importance of a screw... sort of like... over 6 years too late? I surely am a slow learner... 8-O lol

At the same time, the funny thing is that... I had never seen that screw... whether it was broken or got loose...  since what happened was someone used a stable to replace that broken screw.  Reminding me of the notion of the entanglement between particles that never existed at the same time...

And, the reality is that, without that screw, that'd be no Ratology Reloaded and neither this book I am working on... which sort of make this book... the story of a screw. 8-O

Learned helplessness

The last three papers I took notes on all talked about the phenomena of learned helplessness.

One thing I have to say about being psychotic is that I am 100% sure that I am doomed to falter in the face of the mental God since delusions can never be fully caught.  Such inevitability surely can lead to the unfolding and manifestation of learned helplessness... Yet, as a not-so-physically-capable psychotic starting the mental career as a depressive, knowing the certainty that I am doomed to fail, all the plausible theories about how learned helplessness is developed, and thinking that failing less is good enough, what can I do to escape the entrapment of learned helplessness?  And, what could others in the same shoes do?

Interesting question... 

Thought broadcasting

Something new to share with you on my cuckoo head concerning thought broadcasting...

In 2005, I started my blogging career because I was sick and tired of the thought broadcasting symptoms... like... I might as well broadcast thoughts myself if I am gonna be so delusional as to think that my thoughts are being broadcast (let along the everyday belief that people are recording my verbalized speech and words typed out).

This blogging version of thought broadcasting is more conservative though since I retain a faceless presence (though, if one really want to find my face, they surely can find it something associated to this google account... just donno why anyone would wanna work so hard).

Just occurred to me earlier that, in the past year or two or three, there has been some strange change in MO.

I do think-aloud... I think therefore I talk...  at large or not... beyond my control... of course... (unless simply some serious disruption in the function of the subvocal rehearsal mechanism.  period.)

Come to think about it... ain't that taking thought-broadcasting to a totally different level?  With the presence of the face, body, and everything else.

So what kind of implication does it have?  Given that it's real that the thought is broadcast with the presence of the mouth on the face running these thoughts etc, which partials the uncertainty effect out, what's to be handled is the core of the issues.  It's because when the core is addressed, the thought broadcasting symptom, my though broadcasting through my blog or durch my mouth... ain't no nothing gonna matter.

Am I sure?  Consider it as 賈雨村言 Jiǎ yǔ cūn yán la!

(Though, this self-talk thing reminds me of some thing I observed once every so often... When smoking at large, I see and hear every so often that kids or young adults would run their mouth out loud with comments... as if I were not there.  This remind me of what this pal had me said once about a similar scenario, something like... "How the parents teach their kids today... they'd better make sure they are not in the wrong side of the town.")



Ratology Reloaded: Delusional: How do I know that I am still delusional? This is a question I have to answer myself time and again... On a scale of 1 to 10, I score a 3 ...

Is that Venus on 6/24/2013?

Saw this big bright object after sun down around NWN tonight... albeit the constraints of my shaking hands (side effects of the med) and the aging grandpa Canon, I managed to find ways to capture this object...

Thought it was too bright to be a star (my bias) and almost too bright to be a planet...

Then, after all due diligence in my googling efforts, I found out in various sources that the unidentified flying object (UFO) to me could be Venus since Venus could be spotted after sundown in the NWN sky...

From Is that Venus on 6/24/2013

One thing that got me bewildered is... when blowing some pix up... I found out my intelligent technology called my grandpa Canon was seeing things I don't see... the purple circle in the center of the possibly known as Venus?

In the eyes of my grandpa Canon, it seemed to see the purple thing consistently.  One thing I wonder is... since all these pictures were taken using digital zooming, could it have something to do with the zooming... like my grandpa Canon is rubbing off on me and is starting to see things (Though I am down with hearing things only... 8-O lol 8-X)   Since these sort of reminds me of jelly donuts and the camera was starting to do the "change battery" thing. It's possible that the camera might be really hungry and started to see images of potential sources of energy.... unless... simply old age and need to get the eyes checked?


Or, this is what the possibly known as Venus should look like when blown up?

Tried to google this up but I don't have enough background knowledge to figure out what keywords to use.  At the same time, gotta say that I am really liking my grandpa Canon that's almost as old as my age as a physically-not-so-able.
 

Time traveling

There are so many movies about time traveling... like Source Code, MIB III...

I also found a new way to travel back in time... literature review (if not reading in general).

Almost like the stars observable by the Hubble as depicted in the following film... what you see are how things were at all different points points in time... with many occurring billions of light years ago.

Take the model of working memory of Baddeley and Hitch first proposed in 1974 for instance, if you start from reading Baddeley and Hitch's (1974) and keep on reading all the way to 2013, you will see the following (with the episodic buffer added at around 2000)...

From Baddeley, Allen, & Hitch (2011) Binding in visual working memory: The role of the episodic buffer

You can choose whatever sequence you like to read up the theory and the related research... Chronologically... you see how things get built up in time... the process of becoming. Even better, you can randomly chose the time you want to go back to... not being constrained by the forward direction of the time dimension!

Come to think about it... perhaps, everything could be used as a means to travel in time... music, pictures, films, rocks... everything that can take you above and beyond the restricted notion of how things should be?! Reminding me of the time when I went into a phase of constructions... from my castle to time distortion.

Living with psychosis: Agent J vs. Boris The Animal

Watched Man in Black III yesterday and thought this is sort of like (hopefully) what it's like to live with psychotic symptoms... though it took J only one time to get it...



No wonder J is J, and Is am/are only mes.  All that J needed was to reload the scenario once while... 8-X

(Dear symptoms, don't be mad at me... just an analogy... the learning of how to dodge your mighty power)

From Altemetrics--impact of research

What it be like, one day, on your CV... you will list how many people visited your blog, tweeted it, FB it in addition to all other good old elements?

A notion addressed in the Chronicle of Higher Ed: Rise of 'Altmetrics' Revives Questions About How to Measure Impact of Research.

This world surely is evolving where I am... sort of like... sleeping (since my body and head take the liking of putting me to the sleep mode whenever possible. 8-O lol)

Regardless, instinctively, I know... albeit the rise of the "Altmetrics"... it ain't gonna do nothing to the pitiful not-to-many-ingredient state of my CV post my terminal degree...

Forget about the issue of bots, time on page, etc that might need to get resolved first... (the equivalent of valid data)...

Adding all hits I have gotten from the following 6 active public blogs (though far less actively in Ratology Reloaded and Technologies in Ratology since 2010 or so)... the total hits on these 6  blogs are 67,418 between May 2007 and 6/6/2013... although some blogs got started later and do not have as many posts etc.

What this tells me is that... even if the "altemetrics" turns to be a common measure for everyone's work and contribution to the society (not restricted to the measurement of research impact), 6 years for this many hits on all blogs combined?  Shit out of luck. Think I'd better hide the stats.  8-X lol