Envy

I thought of my grandma who had passed away years ago this morning when I was again pondering about the meaning of my futile pursuit of seeking meanings in the annoying things in life. So I thought... did grandma even ponder about the meaning of life?

I, then, thought of all the plausible lives I might have led shall I have chosen alternative options at different stages... and wondered whether I would still end up with this existential vacuum stage.

Then, this question popped up... what about all other people? Are there others out there who are also stuck in this kinda dilemma? Or, could others understand this plight I am in--- not understanding why the heart persists on meaning to seek.

Perhaps, those who meaning seek not shall I envy...