Whenever I use the word "amotivated," I do not mean that I am unmotivated.
In ratological definition, to be unmotivated, at least there is still this thing called motive for me to not do anything about it.
To be amotivated, the "a" part signifies that the motive doesn't even exist--- As a result, there is nothing for me to do nothing about.
Since I started feeling overdosed again by the drugs, I inevitably went back to the amotivation state.
I am very happy today to find myself finally start to make more comebacks in the motivation department-- marked by my serious attempt to start looking for a full-time job and starting from searching for positions through multiple venues.
The journey involves, yet, more than one benchmark, such as employment seeking.
Earlier this week, I finally regained the ability to push myself to list items for sale on ebay rather than sitting in front of the TV all night vegetating like a couch potato like what I had been doing for the previous two weeks or so.
During those potato times, every night, my mama-- who has no idea about what is going on in my potato head, although she might have guessed something to be off-- would ask me... "Do you need to use the computer to sell things on ebay?"
Yet, too many of those nights did I reply by, "No. Go ahead and use it," until I could finally make myself resume to a routine so very menial in everyone else’s' life.
How would I have known that the lost and regain of my ebay-ability to be some kind of benchmark in my life? 8-O lol
Of course, when I started to use audio books as a means to push info into my vacuous head while I can't work with texts yet too fine... that was another point of decapitate that “a” in front of the motivation of mine.
So shall you ask me, “so what?”
I can’t tell you what the above writing might have anything to do with you.
What I can tell you though is…
At least, through my reflections, I am acknowledging to myself the work I have put into restoring myself, and, the resulting outcomes I perceive regardless how meaningless they might be to the others.
In ratological definition, to be unmotivated, at least there is still this thing called motive for me to not do anything about it.
To be amotivated, the "a" part signifies that the motive doesn't even exist--- As a result, there is nothing for me to do nothing about.
Since I started feeling overdosed again by the drugs, I inevitably went back to the amotivation state.
I am very happy today to find myself finally start to make more comebacks in the motivation department-- marked by my serious attempt to start looking for a full-time job and starting from searching for positions through multiple venues.The journey involves, yet, more than one benchmark, such as employment seeking.
Earlier this week, I finally regained the ability to push myself to list items for sale on ebay rather than sitting in front of the TV all night vegetating like a couch potato like what I had been doing for the previous two weeks or so.
During those potato times, every night, my mama-- who has no idea about what is going on in my potato head, although she might have guessed something to be off-- would ask me... "Do you need to use the computer to sell things on ebay?"
Yet, too many of those nights did I reply by, "No. Go ahead and use it," until I could finally make myself resume to a routine so very menial in everyone else’s' life.
How would I have known that the lost and regain of my ebay-ability to be some kind of benchmark in my life? 8-O lol
Of course, when I started to use audio books as a means to push info into my vacuous head while I can't work with texts yet too fine... that was another point of decapitate that “a” in front of the motivation of mine.
So shall you ask me, “so what?”
I can’t tell you what the above writing might have anything to do with you.
What I can tell you though is…
At least, through my reflections, I am acknowledging to myself the work I have put into restoring myself, and, the resulting outcomes I perceive regardless how meaningless they might be to the others.
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