Coming down from a pack a day, I assume this is much more appropriate...
The physical withdrawal though... is driving me crazy....
The sensation of the tightening of the entire body... from head to toe....
The feeling that my head is all flaky.... the similar kind of flaky feeling I would feel when my psychotic symptoms are going overboard... which makes it diffuclt for me to use my head...
And, the dangerous amount of irritability...
All work together to drive me into a major league Bitch from Hell...
The second smoke I had for the day was at around 1:40....
After I supplemented my body with nicotine, I immediately felt so much more relaxed and was able to use my head for a while...
Then, as I tried to do some more reading involving a whole lot of math.... including scary looking thing, at least for me, like what lies below...
You see... to begin with, it is difficult to teach an old dog like me new tricks...
In addition, with the symptoms of withdrawal, I simply couldn't use my head at all...
So, I had my 3rd cigarette for the day just now...
And... it made me feel more "normal" and it seems like I could get back trying to study the texts again...
It was then did this question pop up in my head again...
"If there is anything I could change in life, what would I change?"
So I thought... and, possibly, for the first time in my life....
Perhaps, if I could turn back the clock and if there is anything I could change in my life... I would not pick up the first cigarette I smoked in my life... as long as there is nothing worse I have to pick up in exchange.... 8-O lol sigh...
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