Withdrawal

I had some really bad nicotine withdrawal symptoms yesterday.... among which, the worst, tension headaches...

The headache was so bad.... and real bad...

The strange thing is that... I actually was able to live through the majority of the day not thinking about cigarettes...

So I think... this might have something to do with my feeling that I am getting overdosed on Seroquel.... Essentially, I lived through day by day feeling more and more detached from the surrounding world... One key element of da sense of detachment I am speaking of is... feeling unable to use the environmental cues to help retrieving information in my long term memory.... and it feels as if there is an invisible wall resting between me and the outside world...

So, in addition to walking around in my neighborhood having the feeling that I am not really there, somehow... these two days, as I was moving around, I actually have been able to not remember me myself as a smoker and somehow it was very difficult for me to remember what it felt like to be a smoker...

It is also as if I have developed some strange kind of situation-specific amnesia--- rendering me able to forget smoking related memories... and I hope it could continue to remain so...

At some point during the day, as I walked outside for some more coffee and fresh air... I saw smokers around... and, for reasons unknown, I could not retrieve that sense of membership as a smoker no more...

Strange state of being I would have to say because, in my previous attempts, I would continue to have the "habitual or psychological" kinda withdrawal despite the lack of physical withdrawal...

This time... the worst parts of my experiences so far are physical withdrawal...