Da fly

So, there came those days last week when I found depression creeping up and taking its toll.... after I started my venture in smoking cessation...

And... I finally reached the worst of the depressive state in the night of last Saturday....

This is a different kind of depressed state...

In this state, you want to interact with no one, speak to no one and there is not even enough energy left for you to attempt doing something that might help you change your state of mind...

It is the same kind of experiences I lived through twice, each lasting for months if not years, when I was in my teens... I didn't want to talk, I was always ready to go in tears although I won't....

At the same time, everyday, I was bombarded by this question.... the question about the fate of a fly-- any fly--- in a car or bus that had a fast start and stop... and... I couldn't stop feeling sorry for da fly... 8-O lol

I still remember clearly in my mind how, on one fine spring morning, when I was in the math class, the math teacher gave out the practice exams for us to do. After I took a copy for myself and past the rest along, I laid my head down on the desk, curiously looking at the world outside in bright daylight for the entire time.

When the time came to go over the review questions, of course, I was the first to be called on.... I put my head back up and stared into my teacher's eyes with the least sense of guilt or remorse... though with a strange sense of curiosity...

And, I replied...

"I didn't do it."

"Why didn't you do it?" The teacher must have asked.

"I don't know...."

Or, I didn't care, more acurately, despite the fact that I had been an A student up to that point...

Funny enough... two days before I went back to that familiar state, my best friend came to town to pay me a visit...

As we were strolling down Broadway and after she spoke with someone on the phone, she told me that one of the students she works with all of a sudden had a drastic change in his modus operandi...

"He hasn't taken a test for two weeks."

"He is depressed. Good season for it. Send him to see the school counselor to begin with."

"I was talking to the school counselor just now."

And, so I told her the story involving the imaginary fly....

And, this is one of the reasons why she commented about them experiences not necessary for normal people... 8-O lol