Delusional

How do I know that I am still delusional?

This is a question I have to answer myself time and again...

On a scale of 1 to 10, I score a 3 on the degree of delusions based on my naive estimation although I can't quite tell you what that number of 3 really means other than it is higher than a 2 and lower than a 4. In addition, what I could tell you is that, chances are, I scored a 10 when drafting the posting about my concerns......

At the same time, following are some of the distincts feature of my current state of "delusionality".....

I had some discussions about some sports team with my coworker the other day. Although I have no ideas about sports and do not follow it, I have heard from hearsay that the sports team we were talking about were not very good. Then, on my way home from work, I had this thought and feeling that people who follow sports were not so happy at my comment. And, I found myself thinking in my head this thought...

"I don't know sports anyway...."

And, I came to the realization that the above sentence was a reaction for this delusion of mine that someone out there is capable of reading my mind and hearing my thought even though I have no idea why anyone would want to do so.

In other words, I had thought of that thought so that the mind reader in my imaginary world could hear this though... so that the thoughts could be broadcasted.... and so that people won't pay no mind to my comment at all...

Other times, when I am thinking about whatever is in my mind, I would catch myself thinking in some fairly strange fashion....

Essentially, it doesn't feel like I was purely thinking silently to myself...

Rather, if feels more or less like I am thinking my thoughts out in a "sharable" fashion--- so as to share them with that thought reader of mine in my imaginary world.... although I can't quite tell you what it means to think without the intention of sharing my thoughts..... 8-O lol

And, the features are... I guess.. I still, believe it or not, still have that internalized automatic self-correction system running and thinking thoughts are broadcasted.... (like magical thinking and thought broadcasting? Isn't it amazing how after I go running around after my own tail all these years but still come back to the same thing? 8-O lol sigh)

Such concludes my current response to the initial question....

How do I know, currently, that I am delusional...