Feb 28 on Feb 13 2008

Something I put down on Feb 28, 2009 when I was going into the bottom of my depressive symptoms... Miraculous, my depression hit the bottom later that night and the symptoms seem to have mostly gone away as of today.... 8-O lol

Feb 13 2008

The depressive symptoms seem to have worsen today when comparing to how I was yesterday...

Essentially, I have moved into a state within which I don't really want to have contact with people and I don't really want to speak....

After observing myself going into a state when I feel absolutely want to be quite by myself, I decided to take a walk down to 75th street and back to 110th...

Other than the swinging activity that I do, walking is, I guess, the only alternative exercise that I could really do....

After I got back, I went back to do my swinging activity while watching an episode of House within which House was gunned down at work after being shot twice.

Interesting episode, I have to say...

During this episode, House was experiencing a lot of hallucinations.... though... to me, it was more or less like a dreaming state rather than hallucinations....

Towards, the end of the show, it was revealed that it was more or less like House was dreaming while in a state of coma....

After I watched the show, I went to fetch myself something to eat....

It was then did I realize that it was more or less like in a dreaming state I was in...

Life doesn't seem real... and I feel so very detached from the world I reside in...

It felt as if I am actually in a dream and none of my life experiences ever occur...

Or, perhaps, it were still Febrary 13th 2008 since I never lived that day...

Maybe... all that I think to have happened since Febrary 13th 2008 never happened because I went to sleep in ER on Feb 12th 2008 and woke up on Valentine's Day...

I am simply in a state of dreaming...

Funny enough... since it is all a dream... there can't really be delusions and hallucinations.... 8-O lol

At the same time, the sense of detachment has gotten stronger and stronger... in other words, I am far too overdosed on Seroquel...

As scary as it might be, I seriously have to talk to Dr. Winter about cutting it down by 100 mg...