On giving up

After my posting on a bit over 5 months from now... wondering about what I could do to make myself come face to face with the reality in life...

Last night, after a whole day working with estimating the ability parameter, I finally was able to come face to face with my near future... starting from wondering about the meaning of all the efforts I have put forth in life so far...

Could what I have gone through all these years be God's message... telling me that I have been struggling to live my life towards the wrong track... although it doesn't feel wrong at all?

In addition, how do we know when is enough and when we shall give up on pursuits with or without any meaning at all?

Then, I woke up today afresh....

Not because I have found solutions to all the minor dilemma I need to face in life...

Rather, now that I finally have come face to face with the reality.... now that I am granted a decision to make... to proceed with my efforts or to simply giving up...

And, as I was having a brunch with this old friend of mine...

I popped this question... like what they did in the movies...

"Would you marry me for 10 grants?"

He did not say yes although that doesn't matter...

Just consider it as one more experience not necessary to ordinary people... 8-O lol

What really matters is that...

Now I can see reality better... I can face reality better... and I will continue to try to do my best to live with it and to do my best about it...

The outcome?

I guess... come what may....

Come what may... at least at this point... all that I could say is come what may... for, at least, I know I would have tried my best regardless whether my best would be good enough...