Monday, July 28, 2008

A loving trip

I guess what they say is true.

For everything bad you find in life, if you search far enough-- so shall you see the good.

It does sound like a cliché--- at least for me.

Taking for example the time since I broke my back last June, my life throughout these times could be, personally, considered as some time fairly fucked up.... (oops, pardon me for my French... lol)

Along this journey, I have seen, heard, sensed, perceived and experienced many a thing, good and not so good, and, chosen to share and to share not.

It is many a nuance that makes up the marvels of life's journey, I guess.

Taking a moment to sit back and feel.... I find what is most overwhelming about this trip is the love I have received in all capacities.

Be real.... there are people with the inclination to do the 火上加油 thing... such as so many a driver who almost got me killed while yours truly trying to cross the street.

For a spoilt brat like me, be it real or my own imaginations, I feel love along this trip....

The love I am speaking of... some might call it compassion, humanity, care, consideration, etc.... or simply some form of good deeds with warm and genuine intentions.

One is free to use whatever terms one chooses to re-construct what I call love...

For me, that love I am speaking of encompasses all of the above and more... with some I am unfortunately incapable of naming....

I guess, this is why, even in the bitterest cold are there sufficient warmth to keep me moving happily and smiling (regardless where I go such as the nut house and in addition to sufficient clothing... lol)

Then, I spoke with my loving family in Ratology, New York through skype today...

"When are you to get back?" so I was asked.

Whether I will be able to get the Visa to return is in the hand of the immigration officer I see next.

Their genuine care is what I have.

After we hang up.... to myself I said... how lovely.... and what a loving trip I have traversed.

It is not about the winning a huge amount of money from suing the college--- even though it might be good... lol

It is not about getting the green card under the classification of national interest waiver--- even though it would have made my life a bit easier in some capacities especially when I am so very "extra-ordinary" lol

It is not about getting the job that sponsors me a work visa--- even though it would be nice... 8-\

It is not about getting the visa to return to New York City--- even though... almighty God, Buddha, and all else with exceptional abilities... I need that visa to get back and take care of my unfinished business... Dear Department of Homeland Security, please let me come back to spend money and pay more kinds taxes in the United States.... :-D 8-O lol

It has been a loving trip so far because...

Just like that dog barking at the rainbow he sees (dogs are color-blind--- so they say...), I feel this trip's loving moments ballooning up from my heart, expanding into the air, extending into the... let me see... next universe, perhaps.... and fill the empty space with particles of happiness.... 8-O (and, OK, the next universe part is exaggeration... lol)

Well, there were things I could have done without... yet, perhaps, just like darkness for light, it is through the contrasts of the not-so-good things do I get to see better the loving-ness of the journey.

(And if you ask me whether I really believe in what I have BS so far... many a month ago I could not and I still remember that moment... yet, today I think I finally do... at least to a certain capacities)

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