OCD

After my last posting, I realized this inclination of mine for obsessive compulsive disorder about... did it help...

I guess, based on my limited life experiences so far, many things we have to go through are just a big chunk of elegant waste...

Guess this is why my voices kept on telling me to look outside of myself...

It is because, if some part of my life could resonate with that of the others and lead to some kind of reaction.... bit by bit... some part of the meaninglessness gets dissolved...

Call it the collectivist mindset if you want to... and self-centered...

Sometimes, it is the betterment of someone else's' life that makes our own life beautiful and wonderful...

Such also reminds me of this funny concept of entanglements in life... the interconnectedness in our minds and live experiences...

Shall such a construct hold true... the best thing I could do is to always try to look at the bright side of life... to help others help me see more of the brighter sides... and ending each every statement with a big thank you... to solicit more of them moments of the "big thank you"s.... in my worlds... imaginary or not...

For, I swear to God... I could be locking myself up tearing my hair off trying to figure out the meaning of my having to be sick in the head and body... (even though when I was locked up in the psychiatric ward using a walker, I still felt that I was healthy like a cow... 8-O lol) and, despite of my presumed propensity for low latent inhibition, meaning could I still conceive not...

Or... the social construction of meaning... I am speaking of...