The pursuit of happiness

Just found out that the last posting on this old dog marked the 1000th posting of this blog...

Interestingly, after all these times, I still have the feeling that Ratology Reloaded is still not the Ratology blog... one I took down as per recommendations of my voices right before I went into the hospital the very last February.

The beginning of Ratology Reloaded could be considered as, how should I put it, perhaps the bottom of my life so far.... in the sense that I was far more severely disabled both mentally and physically and I was feeling far more confused than now although it ain't like confusion is nothing in my department.

The recovery process hasn't been easy and it is nothing smooth....

Both mental and physical conditions have gotten better and worse during this time.

However, I suspect that one thing that might have changed since 1000 posting ago is my developing ability to let go...

Letting go doesn't mean giving up for me...

Letting go doesn't mean that I don't want no nothing no more....

Letting go, for me personally, means I am now feelin happy with simplicity as opposed to da yester-me.... who was never-ending-ly trying to expan my knowledge base.... psychology, technology, e-commerce, or measurement and evalution.... There was never enough.... and there doesn't seem to be an ease way to integrate what I have accumulated--- them knowledge in them different domains.

Sometimes I think maybe the fall was a message from God.... telling me that the never-ending expansion has to come to a halt, if not an end.... the insatiatible pursuit of knowledge....

The fall itself did not bring forth a drastic paradigm shift. It did grant me access to some more alternative contexs.

It is recently when I finally find myself to prefer and to feel comfortable to prefer simple commen sense over thoughts with too many layers of complexities.

It is living through this "pending" state of mine did I realise that I have made it relatively sane in pending.... In other words, I am capable of taking my health and life seriously.

The day I cut the check for the Department of Homeland Security....

I think...

How ironic....

Sort of like what they say... It is the worst time and it is the best time.

Whether it is the current state of neurotransmitters talking only or not...

Lessons learned so far.... in relatively good health... the simple pursuit of happiness...