Body and mind

As I am sitting down, though lower in energy level since the beginning of the day, still quite capable of browsing through the job postings listed in the chronicle of higher ed...

All of a sudden, it hit me again...

Psychosomatic symptoms which take charge of the majority of my cognitive processes...

While in dasein, let me describe to you this state of my body and mind...

So, it is heavy around my chest.... and it feels as if something is pulling my chest inward... then, at certain point, it feels as if something is tearing me inside of my chest or the place you might called the heart...

It causes pains... real physical pains... from chest on to the other parts of my body...

It also feels so heavy and tight... so heavy that it seems to be causing me problem breathing... so hard to breath that led me to take deep breaths in order to get some air... This, at the same time, reminds me of the experiences of anxiety attacks or panic attacks...

So, it is painful when the forces pull my chest inwards...

At some points, it does the opposite... the chest gets pushes outwards and painful feelings, both psychological and physical, remain... In this kind of condition, it feels so very empty inside....

The cognitive processing power, through out the whole time, involuntarily becomes dedicated to perceiving all these physical symptoms... while, at the same time, it feels as if the head is all tightened up...

At points, it also sends out signals reminding me that... it is not only my body... I am also in a depressive state of mind...

Now I am done describing the symptoms... I think it is time for me to go do some of my swinging exercises...