Tautology

The other day, as I was talking to people about the analyses I ran on some disability and functionality measure, I got a response like the following...


"That is your kind of thing. You also think of the sad things..."


Today, I happened to talk to people about my age of disability....


Someone made a comment like the following...


"You have to let go of the bad energy and forget about the past."


These responses, surely, illicit this sense of curiosity in me.... or bring back out this question I had for myself before...

Why do I speak or think of my mental and physical conditions so much?


Well, I guess, it might have something to do with the fact that... they are the conditions I am in and, like my rubber stamps, I am not quite sure what to do about them... 8-O lol

At the same time, this comment of a friend about the TV program "House" came to my mind...

"It is so depressing because they always can find a cure..."



No truer words... I could give away my rubber stamps or try to sell them off, unfortunately, there is no way to let go of the incurable state of both my body and mind and neither would I give it to someone else anyway... 8-O 8-X


Then, I recall this interesting comment I made about my speaking of my even more disable era... something like...


"Things happen for a reason and there is always a lesson to be learned."


In retrospective, I came to the realization that... what had come out of my mouth is a belief that somehow got developed through out all these times...


At the same time, it is a belief that I have to consciously retrain myself from embracing without hesitation for fear of magical thinking under construction.... 8-O lol oops...

So, I try to understand a bit more, other than attributing all to PTSD or OCD, what might be the driver for the recurrent thoughts about my health conditions?


I thought of some articles I encountered right after the accident and when I was a much more fledgling handicap... involving keywords such as "disability" and "spirituality"...


And, I did a simple google search and came across articles like this...


Granted, what is spirituality? A concept whose definition I am still not quite sure.... Yet, for the time being, the following seems to be good enough...

"... spirituality is viewed as one's inner beliefs or world view about the meaning and purpose of life and/or the quest for understanding these concepts (Thomas, 2000)."

And, I came across this quote from someone in a much worse condition than me about the purpose...


"... this is probably just not a freak accident that I became a quadriplegic. But that has some purpose for the world I live in, and that I am not just here living out the lift of a quad because of fate, but there's some reason, ... or some purpose that God intended to fulfill through a disability."

Then, I realize, personally, if ever anything out of my mouth could touch anyone as much, I could call it right there... the purpose of my conditions.... them some strange conditions I have been in...

Many a beautiful quotes could be found in the writing.... with may a familiar theme...

So, just when I was rereading, if not rethinking, about the quotes....

This thought occurred to me...

Perhaps, these concluding quotes did not come without deliberation at all....

Perhaps, there could come to be a point when what is considered sad or bad turns to be simply a state....

And... what it be like if it is through tautology do we get to spin ourselves out of inconvenient kinda states...