From Verbal Diarrhea

I have no idea why...

Recently, I find myself failing to refrain myself from speaking out what is exactly in my mind.....

Most of the time, believe it or not, despite my propensity for verbal diarrhea, I would try to be "adult" about things and ignore them.

However, nowadays, it felt as if things just come out freely as it flows....

So... it was yesterday or the day before when I thought to myself.... maybe now I am becoming less delusional since, in the worst of my delusional state, I have to be good because each every move I make, each every thought incurs, and, each every word that comes out of my mouth is broadcasted in some ingenious ways....

Then, this afternoon, I was asked....

"Why are you complaining so much?"

This question led me to this realization....

If there is such thing called energy and if what I sense is what one could called as energy...

It is somehow.... overflowing and, at times, it feels as if it is coming out of my chest.... (as long as you don't ask me why so many psychosomatic symptoms I experience are associated with the chest area)...

I have no control over it... not too much of control...

And, I don't know why....