Something compelling

I was informed today that I need to provide a compelling reason for not having finished my studies....

Funny enough, last night, as I was lying in bed, praying to God that the neutral vision in head won't turn sour and the seeming pending anxiety attack kinda feeling won't turn into reality... in addition to them nerve pains springing up left and right totally without any sense of courtesy...

After an hour, when that attack seemed to be turning more and more real, I got up and took one of the clonazapam....

It was somewhere during the whole big nothingness did I have this thought...

Rereading the posting of the past, to be honest, in pain and in dasein for the symptoms of psychotic and neurotic, I thought to myself...

How did I get here...

The whole process of recovery, if not healing.... body and mind, intertwined...

Could such be something compelling?

Life as it is...

How could I ever claim it as anything compelling?

Like... ya, I was in and out of the psychiatric ward, got caught in Taiwan for the whole summer trying to get rid of the cane, and, spent the whole fall trying to stay at large while institutionalizable grade, my mental health condition.... 8-O lol

So shall I do not...

So I think.... 8-O lol sigh

Then I thought...

I had no problem using my pain and disability as the compelling reason...

What is wrong with the mental health condition?

At the same time.... what exactly does it mean... compelling?