What have I done lately?

I don't really know what I mean by lately...

How do you define lately? Should it be measured by the day, week, month or year?

Then I looked back and looked past one of the major bench mark in my life... June 19th, 2007... the day a strange fall took my life apart... and, in strange ways, pulled myselves together...

In retrospective and when rereading my own writing, I came to the realisation that... the entire journey is about recovery if not healing....

On a bad day, I vent and I complain...

On a good day, I feel my life is worth living....

On days in between.... mixed feelings...

So if some part of the purpose of my life has to do with my experimentations and observations, the one and only study I have conducted through out all these years affords me only some case study with these few plausible conclusions in the following....

Disordered as them thoughts might be... neurotic or psychotic in nature... it is not necessary that we lose our metacognition....

Regardless how normal or abnormal one might seem, coping is coping and having the intent to cope itself is encouraging.... let along there doesn't seem to be any standard way for coping...

In addition, don't be too harsh on yourself if you don't think you are coping ineffectively or inefficiently.... because you are the patient and God created doctors for a reason... 8-O... speaking of the power of social loafing...

One last thought... although excessive writing without meaning is a characteristics of psychosis.... regardless that intrinsic fear that someone else might read your writing.... it ain't so bad for you to write because, although there ain't no nothing under the sun that has not been written before, you are entitled to do it in ways that you could call your own... even if no one gives a rat's ass about your thoughts.... 8-O lol

Then, on a day like today when I am less depressed, I think to myself... perhaps, away hasn't my life been squandered whether anyone else believe it or not... disordered or not such a thought... 8-O lol sigh

In addition, what is normal without the contrast of them abnormal? In other words, without people me and alike... there won't be you and shall you ever exist who consider yourself absolutely normal.... because we are the (error) variances-- the essential ingredient for statistical analyses... 8-O lol