Walker

For years, I do not want to use my mental health condition as a crutch... an excuse for anything at all...

Then, I am asked to provide some compelling reason for my having been a lost soul in limbo, not able to get things finished like any ordinary soul, especially, I guess, for the time past this past two years or so...

The answer is simple...

I was in pain and unable to move. At some point, I became depressed and later I was overwhelmed by the increased level of psychotic symptom... so mental that I went into the psychiatric ward... And, I try to recover one step and a time... with the recovery process moving forward and backwards at its own leisure...

Sort of like the process of working on a dissertation when, some days, all that you could afford to do is to delete two or three paragraphs...

So I sent out something like the above as the rationale.... or the compelling reason...

Then, as the email went out... dramatising or not... I felt it in my heart... cut like a knife... Ouch... and Ouch some more... (and, psychosomatisation... so it is...)

Something I would never want to do while, perhaps, it is something I need to learn to do... to accept and acknowledge the impacts...

Fight no more... acknowledge the impact and move on doing whatever else you could do to live on with your beautiful life....

So I thought... a crutch...

Then, it occurred to me... this vision of the past... both physically and mentally handicapped... my trying to move around in the psychiatric ward using a walker... not a cane... not a crutch... a walker... 8-O lol sigh

From Ratology Reloaded

Going from never using the word "suffering" and tauting the term "insanity".... today, these two words finally emerge in my dictionary... 8-O lol sigh

So I thought... this is another life's lesson for me to learn... after all these times... something unnecessary (and, hopefully, incomprehensible) for them lucky normal people...

And, like how the song goes...

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out

Helping you out

Now that all has been said and done...

So I think to myself...

Ain't no nothing so bad anyways....