Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Zu Hause sein: Being at home

I have been spending some time in this online social networking place and, today, I found this discussion forum titled "The Mental Ward"...

No offense to my normal people... However, as I was browsing through the postings... I had this strange feeling of... Zu Hause sein: Being at home...

It was then did I realise that... I have been Andrew in the movie Bicentennial man who spent all these years for the others like him and finally find them....

Following is what I posted in this forum:

Just want to say that this feels like heaven to find somewhere where people also have psychosis and/or neurosis as their profile....

Wonderful sense of belonging...

It is as if I have been Andrew in the movie Bicentennial man who spent all these years for the others like him and finally find them....

Following are my responses:

1) Where are you from? Originally from Taiwan, Now in NYC

2) What's your diagnosis? Through out the years, I have been given many different labels, ranging from depression, delusional disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, panic disorder... a neurologist I went to see for my back problem and inability to walk suspected that I might have conversion disorder, a type of psychosomatisation although I have never been officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist with this label

3) Are you on any meds? If so which ones? Through out the years, I have taken zoloft, wellbutrin, zyprexa, risperdal, dapakote, clonazapam and Seroquel. Currently, I am on 500 mg Seroquel daily and Clonazapam whenever I have something like a panic or anxiety attack.

4) Are you under psychiatric care? yes.

5) Do you seek counseling? I used to see a therapist. Nowaday, no because I don't have the money for it.

6) Have you ever been hospitalized? Yes. Three times.... three full-blown psychotic episodes.

7) What other methods do you actively employ for your recovery? Vitamins, walking and qi kinda exercise (the only exercise I could do due to my back condition)as well as a web of social support from family and friends

In addition, my psychosis is late onset... it was not until I was in my 30s when I first experienced psychotic symptoms. I went in and out of the psychiatric ward twice when I was working on my dissertation. Moreover, I was running the experiment for my dissertation all the way till I got locked up and went right back to run my experiments right after I was released... and, I eventually, living with symptoms that never cease, got my doctoral degree...

In other words, neurotic or psychotic, although we might need to take a detour at times, we can do it!!!

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