Head

It is very important to be healthy....

So you try to observe things and find correlations although correlations are not causation...

Now I could use my head to do things such as reading and thinking... it makes me feel really happy...

The problem...

It appears as if the use of my head, unfortunately, makes the occurrences of positive symptoms more frequent....

It is also as if... when I leave my head along, the observations of positive symptoms also lower....

So... now... you know have the choice to use your head to do more when access is granted...

However, you also have to make sure the symptoms are under control.... provided this half-baked theory you build up about the correlation mentioned above... regardless its validity....

This is a catch 22...

To use your head or not to use your head...

Or more accurately, how do you make the best use of your head while not risking loosing your head?

At the current point, it is as if my head still has this build-in mechanism to shut itself down for maintenance purpose.... It tells me to do things which would appear to be a waste of my life and it tells me when to get on with some more constructive work. It has its own rule and, even if you try to defy it, you don't really get too far.... (which sometimes would make me wonder whether this is the "neighbor's dog tell me to do it" kind of phenomena. 8-O 8-X)

In addition, it seems like I still have sufficient amount of ability to dissociate myself from the symptoms.

At times, it feels as if what I am going through is to learn to live with mes.... as if it is an internship with tasks at higher levels of difficulties gradually get unlocked upon the appropriate level of my attainment.... 8-O lol 8-X

At this state, it feels as if the lesson to learn is to learn to find a balance.... the line just keep on getting finer... and... I need to learn the art of balancing...

If only there exist a class or even a manual..... codified rules to follow.... Give me the science for artistic I have never been.... If only the lesson plans are based on information delivery model rather than the constructivist, if not constructionist, approach....

And, sometimes you ponder... I didn't even register for the class and pay the tuition.... Why are you making me learn? 8-O 8-X lol sigh

And, even if all of the above deemed nonsense.... one point stands true in this post... health is of vital importance.