Scary Movie II

I think it might have something to do with the two large coffee plus that tall Mocha from Starbucks yesterday....

I guess it might also have something to do the setback in my physical conditions.... since I have been finding my hallucinations and delusions to come out more frequent when my body feels worse.

Last night, after I popped my daily pill, I went to sleep... getting ready to work early this morning...

Then, as I laid in bed, my eyes closed... expecting the ordinary kind of hallucination to emerge and to cease... something else happened...

The mind became cleared.... the kind of clarity I sensed years back... one night when I thought I could read people's mind and when, later, I thought I was channeling with all Gods in heaven...

It was the kind of feeling that... all boundaries ceased to exist and there exist only the clarity in nothingness...

Then, my mind fell into that kind of state when I think of nothing while being aware that I exist....

Then, the sense of energy kind of thing flowing through my body.... and more...

Then, with eyes closed and in my mind, I saw visions after visions...

At some point, I even heard clearly in mind head this voice... "Quit smoking..." 8-O lol

At some point, I even begged my ordinary psychotic self to come back.... giving me back them blurry kind of hallucinations that come and go....

Tossing and turning around, I finally got up and lit a smoke... only to find that almost two hours have passed.

Having to wake up early, I took an Aleve, which I know helps me to sleep, rather than one of them pills available only by prescription.

Then, when I was at work doing some data analysis about people with disabilities today, I realized these voices annoying in the back of my head--- whispering and whispering....

I cursed them out and said.... as if they could me understand...

"Keep going and keep going... I could have us added some more drug and see how far you want us to go..."

At some point, as I was getting ready to leave work, I found myself in the neighborhood of silence...

"Alas..." So I might have said to myself...

"Voices are gone and I am by myself..."

Back in my room and in the middle of the humid heat before the storm, I found them voices floating again in the back of my head... hidden so well and so unobservable that one might mistaken them as simply vibrations for no cause....

Again, I said...

"Keep it coming as you will... there is always drug for us all..."

So I my psychotic self threatened...

So I went out to do my exercise... en route... gotten a cup of Chamomile tea, rather than my regular coffee, instead...

Then, later, I went hanging out with a friend...

No more strawberry Margarita... I asked for a glass of the red red wine plus hot water instead...


(God... doesn't this song sound so fine except for it is making me sound like an alcoholic... OK... one or two drinks a week only... 8-O lol)

When ordering them chicken fingers... for the first time, so I said, "Can't be inhuman... just mild..." for food too spicy should I not take...

So I thought... hum... calling this human?

So ends the Scary Movie II about being human. 8-O lol