Take my cognition away

Went to see my new psychiatrist today, ended up... he was the doctor I had all the way back in the psychiatric ward in February...

Although there is an absolutely logical reason why I am seeing him now--- my previous psychiatrist knew he was my doctor in the ward and that is why I have been referred to him... I can't stop thinking....

How appropriate... 2 nights after them scary moments, I am facing him... as if whatever superme power is telling me... Lady... Watch it...

Anyways, to cut it short, delusions and hallucinations seem to fall under the comfort zone although I can do with fewer of them...

On my way back home from the doctor's visit, this voice keep on whispering in the back of my head... "Let go of your cognitions..."

That reminded me of the time when I was on the ER bed waiting for that bed up on the 8th floor in the cuckoo cuckoo's next...

How I had begged the psychiatrist...

"Help me... I need my cognition.."

And, today....

"Let go of your cognition" was the main thing that kept on popping up in my head... while "let go of your voices" the second notion I could not escape...

Then, when I finally got to do my exercise... it felt as if... my body and mind trying to get that cognition of mine out of my head....

So I was there, thinking... "I don't know what I have to do... Yet, if this is what you want, do whatever you could, please, take my cognition away...." and, of course, and them voices... (no offense...)

Then, the voice called...

"Go back to watch your TV." 8-O lol

And, of course, the one day when I am doing my TV watching, the programs disappear all of a sudden... can't even do TV watching.... 8-O lol