Bless

It had been my childhood dream... other than being a professor in the day time and a bartender in the night... as long as you don't ask me why... 8-O lol.... to go into clinical psychology...

And I tried many a year until life's finally led me to towards another path... to where I am today.... um... a lost soul in limbo... perhaps? 8-O lol oops...

Spoke with one of the first professor I had in New York today....

Spoke about my conditions etc...

Ya... ain't like I don't talk about it to people... you don't volunteer unless people ask... so we were told to do....

Anyways... the key point...

I had wanted to go into the field of clinical psychology in my younger years... for all reasons addressed so far in some parts of the writing....

Life seems to be pushing me further and further away from it while I could simply not escape from it however hard I try....

I bet everyone came to this field for a reason.... similar reason that pushes everyone towards whatever pursuit they might have in life.... regardless the field....

I had come across this book by this lady who is both a psychiatrist and a manic-depressive herself....

To be honest, that would be too much for me to take....

In addition, already a handful for myself to handle, believe me... I won't be able to walk too far shall I have gone into the field of mental health since that's one of the field of the highest rate of burned out rate. For instance, God bless them professionals who have to deal with a patient like me so far.... 8-O lol oops...

"Are you happy today?" So I was asked.

I am happy.

All about too close to home... since you are already at home, it is wonderful to live a life with what you love while dealing with them messiness at home... although I have no problem moving somewhere else.... since once a home forever a home... (sort of like what Chinese say... once a teacher forever a parent....) 8-O lol

I know it is different for everyone...

As of today, I have to say.... I am thankful that life has pushed me this way despite of the distaste for all them minor annoyances in life.... (such as that worry in the back of my head.... am I gonna get da esophageal spasm again tonight.... hopefully not... 150 mg night plus pear plus water plus Tums....)

And, by the way, 12 years ago, I first heard of the expression "ignorance is a bless" out of this classmate of mine in this prof's class.

I didn't understand it and thought the guy was pretty obnoxious.

Recently, it is an idea kept on coming back... true bless from God... ignorance is a bless.

What it be like... one of the lessons I needed to learn and took me so long to learn... ignorance is a bless....