Swinging state: 150 mg

Spent the majority of the day doing origami because something told me so....

Should be doing reading...

Yet... origami... so be it...

So you spent the majority part of the day in origami... not knowing why.... something tells you it is for a reason... while you secretly ponder what if all but a waste...

So... origami... calms your nerve and trains you patience...

Then, I came to the observations reconfirming myself in an absolute swinging state...

In addition to swinging my nights off in front of the TV, my shifting selves also swing from left to right... leaving me confused who exactly am I.... awakening from prolonged symptoms and drug overdose....

That genuine bitch from hell... ya... my friend... you... I can identify with...

So are many other pieces of my old familiar selves and newly identified ones... welcome aboard...

Not to forget... that me in origami... that state of me... makes me feel calm and happy...

Yet... the swing... perhaps... the reclaiming of the self... the process in formation...

In this state, you have them pieces of mes in hand... except you don't know what to make of them....

The same kind of confusion you face when you first stared into that origami tessellation diagram wondering where the manual might be...

You think of all those sure souls walking in and out of the door... Pondering... what it be like exchanging this mass if not mess with their solid mes?

So... jealousy... you thought you asked whatever it is to not return jealousy back because jealousy makes you happy not... 8-O lol 8-X

Thought I knew what it meant... a lost soul in limbo...

Reminding of this vivid dream I had the other night...

I was a spirit, if not an energy ball, I flew around bumping into people and kept on bumping into people whichever direction I turn... like a novice driving on highway... lacking a sense of control...

I woke up.... what a dream... time for the toilet... 8-O lol

What it be like for me to wake up from another dream... a dream in never-ending swings and the recurrent returns to the basic?

Destroyed or destructed? Na...

More like... incurably confused...

At least, now I can choose what to do with my head... to aggravate it or not... because you see the sign over that 50 mg less.. I guess...

Some things to speak of on a nothing day about the process of recovery.... a strange learning process... in search for the homeostatic stage... balancing... or learning to balance...