Questions

Junior asked some questions she had never asked before yesterday out of the blue and asked some other questions I have already forgotten...

Questions such as...

"What is it like to be in the psychiatric ward?"

Answer

1. The extremely stinky gas we passed smell all similar... might have something to do with the same food, similar meds especially the thing they give you for pooh pooh since the meds makes you really constipated. I got to realise it one day when I thought I did not pass gas but everyone else could smell that extremely stinky gas.... Then I realised... again... it was only normal... And, if you think... why speaking of gas and pooh pooh... like you never passed gas in your life and your shit doesn't stink? 8-O lol
2. You can't go out and smoke at your own will
3. You don't have to cook for yourself but you have to do your own laundry or make sure it gets done.
4. They have programs so that you have things such as arts and craft or meetings to go to to keep yourself busy and so on...
5. The worst thing... you are locked behind gated door.

"Do you have schizophrenia?"

Answer:

I have had different diagnosis associated with my psychotic symptoms so far. schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, delusional disorder... Regardless the labeling, antipsychotic medications such as Seroquel are used to treat the symptoms.

Then, I spoke of this guy I met at a bar one night years back who told me that he knew everything about schizophrenia.

Junior responded...

"How can you know everything about schizophrenia if you are not one yourself?"

My response...

"One thing non-patients might not have is the phenomena themselves... However, experts could know things patients don't know. Regarding the comment the guy made about he knows everything about schizophrenia... well, if they know everything about schizophrenia, they would have found a cure... rather than treatments. And, it wouldn't not even be a problem."

Of course, the guy might just want to impress girls at the bar except for he might have barked at the wrong tree... 8-O lol

At the same time, I don't know how other people might have lived their experiences... I only know mine.

It was funny how... all of a sudden... she came up with questions as such...

My initial reaction was...

Did someone suggest it because it is suspected that I might need to talk about it out loud other than written all things out?

Sort of like... talk therapy?

Or... someone suspected that the reason why I am writing so much is because verbal things needs to come out... not in speech than in writing?

So you stop.

And, I thought... what it be like if it has something to do with my running around after my medical records.... psychiatric or not?

So I took a minute to ponder...

Perhaps... I still have this dream... some part of the writing might eventually reach people who can make use of it to do something good... this would be the part of the writing that is in public and for the public use sort of like open source kinda stuff...

There is another parts that is in private which... share I not... because that ain't nobody else's business.... (like what is in public is anyone's business... at least, one thing I know is that... ain't like I am forcing nobody to read my writing filled with God knows what kind of mumble jumble...) 8-O lol