Done

I can now finally let it go....

I had come to the United States of America to study....

Now I think I have sort of learned enough for my own sake...

The documents will be submitted and it would be the end of it.

Well, you start something and you have to see it through...

I am currently tired and perhaps drained.

But tomorrow I know I will be regenerated and I bet I might have forgotten what I have typed out today.

I had thought what I came for was to learn and retain knowledge... develop and further develop more intellectual capabilities...

Ironically, today, the lessons learned is about letting go.... completely letting go... after flooded with the yester-present and today's past... now I can let go...

I have done all that I could do and I will finish up what I have started... with some more loose ends to tighten up.

The rest... just let fate take me and let me go with the flow (including the collection of the jackpot and green card 8-O lol)... because I have lived through all the tests so far and I think I have done as well as I could regardless how well others might think I fare or how well others might fare (an attempt to not be too egocentric 8-O lol).

Now I can let go.... the grudges... the hurt... the anger... the never-ending pursuit of I no longer know what.... and otherwise not specified.... (other than... well... somebody gotta be able to sue da institution that's not legally liable... oops... zen moment... zen moment... 8-O lol)

And, funny enough... it ain't like the things I have learned serve no purpose... it has been and remain to be of great use... and... it takes them to move me through...

Perhaps, all the work I had done in previous years are the preparation work for the entire process since I don't know when....

Yet, it takes the whole 9 yards about the immigration stuffs to put me to test... a test life has prepared me so far... it is as if it just keeps getting reloading and reloading in different forms... with the same core involve.... because I am too retarded a learner... 8-O lol

Unless... this is simple the chunk of time life assigned for me to learn to be a person because I had been assigned all the other years to learn and do everything else other than myself...

And... perhaps... now... I finally can be granted access to my leisure studies?! That would be nice. 8-O lol

And... if everyone has his or her own individual path, I really have no idea why I have been assigned this path? J.... C.....

Time for meds. 8-O lol sigh

(Was not gonna post this... because something tells me... what the heck...)