Monday, October 25, 2010

Declaration for retirement

In the car, last night, Dad wanted to mention to me again about... building a career and blah blah blah...

With your blah blah blah and blah blah blah, you should blah blah blah and blah blah blah.

All them blah blah blah and blah blah blah are associated with this thing called 做大事業.... be a guru in some capacity and build some gigantic reputation... sort of...

So I spoke with as much clarity as I could to both my parents.

"I just want to make myself clear.  I will not do that building a gigantic career kind of thing.  It is not like I have not tried.  I have tried so hard and I have roamed around for all these years....  However, I have been looking back at stuffs I have worked on for the past few years and one major theme I identified in my own writing was dosage adjustment.  When symptoms high, you add more drug.  When overdosed, you reduce drug.  A majority part of my life was spent adjusting to dosage adjustments... not in the nuts house... at large.  I have to stop it if I could, the vicious cycle... 苦海無涯.  I want my health and a life not so very benchmarked by dosage adjustment.  Perhaps, that fall is an actual blessing from heaven.... 下重葯 (heavy medicine or extreme measure.)"

It doesn't mean that I won't work and won't do work... duh... you wanna spend money... you gotta hold a job... You wanna keep da job... you gotta do da work... lol

It doesn't mean I won't do a thing... I actually love doing things and I am a hardworking worker loyal like a dog...

Rather, if staying healthy means I have to short my career department, especially when it actually is not really all that long 8-O lol, I choose health because you ain't gonna go too far without health.

For instance, I won't run for the president and I won't attempt to be Ratprincess Buffett...  8-O lol

Well, somebody else might be able to do better and do more.  Good for them.

After 10 years or more of health problems, I think... I am now entitled to make a decision and take a stand.

So I declared, officially, to my parents my retirement from career pursuits that might cause health hazard.  8-O lol

And I added...

"Of course, I love New York and I like living in New York because I am used to New York.  Yet, if I can't go back, of course, I work wherever I could live and work."  Duh... 8-O lol

They both could understand and both of them commented...

"I didn't know."

So I might have replied... "How could you tell if not told."

Why not tell?

Perhaps, I didn't even know myself.  8-O 8-X lol

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