Mental model

Many things I spoke of these past year or two... no answer to them...

As of the summer of 2008, all strange things happening... I say to myself.. Xi, Qi... but I still could not help wanting to understand why... such manifestations...

Fall of 2009, I officially came across grounded theory. All else I could not comprehend or retain when going from 2-3 words... Emerging vs forcing stuck to my mind... partially due to its manifestation as my... auditory hallucination etc.

From then on, one thing I tried really hard to learn is to not force interpretations in until the time comes.

It ain't no easy task since however neumocephalic I might be, disordered thoughts still have this insurmountable kinda ability to come out and put off their shows... as evident in my words.  8-O lol sigh

One thing I wanted to speak of but dare not entertain for the longest time...

As of Oct. 11th of 2010, shall my condition be considered as stable at 12.50 mg or so today, I might owe it to, above and beyond all else, the concept of Xi and emerging v.s. forcing... my something-possibly-saving mental models....

Do I really believe in the specific contents of such mental models and do I think they really work?

After holding it for so long a time, now that I finally don't have the need to test da hypothesis.... another lessons learned... I guess...

At the same time, it's all about what you do with your belief, I guess...