Thursday, August 14, 2008

The day I went shopping without a cane

Tonight I went shopping for shoes without a cane. My walking is fairly stable although there is still room for improvements.

Well... sort of sadly, after over a year, I can't quite remember what it was like last time I walked freely without a cane.... and, perhaps, it might have something to do with normal and healthy people just take their "walk-ability" for granted and pays it no mind.

Later in the night, I sat down in front of the computer rereading the postings I have made in the blog "Down with Meds -- A revelation of Ratology" that I took down earlier in the year.

The original intention was to look for information concerning my mental states in the months before I went into the Cuckoo cuckoo's nest in February.

Yet, instead, what really caught my attention were the postings I made then concerning the pains and disability I had endured...

Thinking of the stories my rehab doctor told me.... how he used the video clips I took (the ones that show how badly I had to struggle to move forward) to make people realize that their conditions are actually and comparatively much better off.... (consider that as the only contribution to the greater good in my 英英美代子 state of being... lol 8-O)

I decided to create the Down with Meds blog again to repost selective postings....

My intention is not to simply tell you how I was doing then... but to show people that... shall you be in the same shoe I was....

It is OK for you to see the dark side of life... it is only normal.

No one else's will know your pain regardless how empathic they attempt to be.

No one else's will understand how it feels to think to yourself.... "Once upon a time I also moved like them."

Even if some of you are "gifted" as I am... taking so long a time to do away with the disabling pains and their consequences....

Remember, after all is said and done, today, for the first time in almost 14 months, I went shopping for new shoes without a cane.

And, regardless what people think... prolonged as the journey might have been, I am seeing light in the end of the tunnel, I will walk myself out of it, and, I am damned proud of it....

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