Sunday, August 31, 2008

Protected I

One of the psychiatrist I went to see back in Taiwan asked me a question like this....

"Do you live with anyone else?"

"Nope." I answered.

"Do you have any contact person when you are sick?"

"I guess my bosses in the office." So I replied.

Somewhere down the line in our conversation, she mentioned something like...

"It must be tough."

Despite my most sincere attempt to understand her comment, I still couldn't quite understand...


She explained, "It must be tough for you to have to live by yourself and take care of yourself all alone."

....... 8-O

I walked out of the meeting... thinking to myself....

What does she mean when she said it must be tough?

How come I never knew that my life is tougher than anyone else's?

Is my life tougher than anyone else's, or, am I just to blind to see the toughness of my life? 8-O

Then, this friend of mine asked me out tonight.

Tough as my life is, I had my dinner at some fancy Italian restaurant in the East side.

Somewhere in our conversation, this friend of mine who met up with my sister in Shanghai revealed to me that my sister had asked him to "take good care of me."

This is not the first person to whom my sister had made the request....

Thinking about it... it makes me feel sort on the "fiery side" or 火氣大... thinking.. @#$%Y^&#$

Yet, it also occurred to me that...

Am I like endangered species in any capacity? Do I look like I needed to be protected?

Walking back home... I can't stop scratching my head wondering... am I like some endangered species that makes people feel that I need to be protected?

Just because I might have the propensity to go in and out of the nuts house and have been sort of physically disabled... does it mean I need to be in debt to people for their "special protection" about me?

Or, am I just too blind to see it-- either my lacking the ability to protect myself or others' attempts to "protect me" especially?

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