The Z dynasty

So.. inevitably, I thought of this guy....

Young and foolish... God's gift...

I would have given up my entire life learning to make pretzels and do laundry for him...

Them nice view of the English bay in the winter when I sat on them stairs waiting for Lucy me to fetch...

"You want a diamond ring?"

Yes, so shalt I have responded.

Though never had we spoke according to his opinion.

Them days of wonder when I was white as them flowers that he bought me...

The day that I first saw his now beautiful wife---- when I was the bad woman while he was the cheating one...

Then, tonight, I thought of this song--- once his favorite...




So the last time I googled his name... same man with a wife and a daughter... still devastated I felt...



So tonight I, his name, googled again.... well... a married professor in business with four children...

I wondered... how, with the congenital stupidity of youth, I could have died for this guy shall he had wished....

I wondered... perhaps, all those relationships thereafter, I was just trying to recapitulate the same story....

I wondered... perhaps, for all these years, all that I have been trying was to make myself someone who could be "good enough" for a person to whom I won't go back and for whom I might no longer exist...

So goes the story about the end of the "Z" dynasty.

(Though, today, still, I think I am cuter than who is now is wife despite the fact that I might need to lose a good 10-15 bls now.... 8-O lol Vanity fair... vanity... lol.. and, guess, the real question is... when am I gonna be for myself... good enough?)