For others, my accounts might be equivalent to 蜀犬吠月--- for what I have written is what you have already known...
Some, such as me myself, might even wonder whether my psychotic symptoms are under-control.... 8-O
In any case... these swinging activities did bring back a lot of my memories in-between the state of more or less degree of "sanity."
I have also come to realize that--- these bodily sensations that lead to actual movements I have encountered or allowed myself to experience recently are nothing new in my ordinary life.... except for, without a theory to explain them, I have been forced to make use of talents granted so very generous by this thing called thought disorder.
Or--- how do I explain these sensations? Here goes the interpretation commonly marked as "magical thinking."
The film segment 00:00:30 to 00:00:50 in the clip titled "Shake and Jump" provides the most common "bodily sensation" in my psychotic experiences.
When the given sensations happened, I used to interpret it as my undergoing some kind of demonic attacks or attacks by evil forces.
Take my most recent acute episode for instance, one day, at work when the majority part of my duty was to add money to user accounts, this sensation came up to me. In my imaginary world, when undergoing such sensations, I was trying to absorb pains and suffering undergone by that suicidal guy so that he could live.... At the same time, just so that you know, I was able to perform the simple duty I was assigned while "undergoing the attack"....
It is also the same sensation I felt when undergoing the "demonic attack" experiences as described in my blog posting "Episode" written on February 09, 2008.
Today, I have acquired a ancient but new means to be looking at that same feeling, which has repeatedly taken on a big role in the building of my delusional systems all these years.
One question I have for myself is that...
Shall the day unfortunately come again when "Here I go again" is sung....
Would such an understanding be of any use in offsetting the chances of another institutionalizable grade kind of acute psychotic episode.... (and God forbids)....
And, shall it work for me (God bless), would it do anything for my cuckoo fellows with the propensity for similar kind of experiences?
My words for practitioners and researchers are simple--- and as commented by my rehab doctor....
In a time when much of our understandings seems to have come to a stall, why not consider looking into the ancient Chinese concept of 氣 as an alternative theory for the etiology and interventions, preventative or not? (See 氣動 and psychosis, Spasm and cognition)
Such mark the conclusion of my 99.999...% 賈雨村言 and 瘋言瘋語 by the "邗單學步"me coming out of the state of 蜀犬吠月... lol
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