Depressed still

I often think that there are a lot of things I could do to help myself... However, many other things are outside of my own control... as a result, it doesn't really make sense to be fussing about them and all that I could do is to go with the flow.

Such as, shall depression be inevitable, whether it is because I am too drugged out or whatever the reasons there might be, there is nothing else I could do than to let it run through. I could try to do tiny little things such as putting up a smile to confused my head or not allowing myself to stay in bed not moving--- it is God's will when depression will pass but hopefully it had hit the bottom today.

In addition, it might take a bit more time until the impact of the decrease depako dosage to show....

At some point during the day, I thought to myself...

Gee, it is not so easy being a depressive psychotic in chronic pain and handicapped in the mobility department who might also fall under the department of conversion disorder, hysteric personality disorder, multiple personality disorder or maybe even PTSD... 8-O lol sigh