Feeling normal

It brought to me worry while at the same time relief, today, when I took my little after dinner walk down the street.

I walked 4 blocks up and down and I observed intensified severity and frequency of my psychotic symptoms.

They were talking more about me although I forgot what they were talking about. Ordinary kinda stuff I guess...

It was really night and day between night and day or before and after the wearing out of meds.

Early on in the day, I was relatively symptom free and relatively functionally.

I guess it might also have something to do with my getting not enough sleep last night (woke up again in the middle of the night due to the switching from the more sedating seroquel to Risperdal) and having to wake up early to work for the whole day today.

Paradoxically, it is a relief and now I feel more normally abnormal and not so scared. :-O

How funny is it... once it was my goal to fight off abnormality and now it is in the ordinary abnormality do I find a sense of relief..... 8-X lol