How we love someone

I often think love is a very strange thing... it is almost like that thing they taught me in school-- multiple manifestations of the same principle.

After my sister went back to Santa Fe, NM, now Ratology is a policed state governed by my mom... lol

Both my sister and my mom want things to be done their way, which imposes extra amount of stress since so do I want things done my kinda way and I have to work on complying with their wishes.

They both had come into town because they want to take care of me. At the same time, I could not shake this sense of guilt that their love for me has interrupted their lifestyle.

Then, it led me to think about my own modus operandi.

Like all other people, I live my life with my issues and minor inconveniences granted by life itself.

Just when I was thinking about that ex-fiance of mine whom ran away with God-knows-whom, I thought of that time when we started to go into this phase of "falling in love."

I had felt that it was my responsibility to inform him of my propensity for mental health condition and I felt it would be really unfair for him to go through with it along with me every time I have to cope with the up and down.

Then, when I was stealing a smoke, this thought occurs to me again...

Perhaps, sometimes, when we love someone, we need to let them go where they want to go, which involves the letting go of our own belief, and let them be who they want to be.

Perhaps I am wrong and perhaps I am right.

It could have something to do with all minor inconviniences I have to go through in my life.

Or, it could also have something to do with the worldview I have developed before my conditions unfold.

Then, I thought of my mom who is diligently cutting meat in the kitchen and who had been working really hard on tidy up on room.

I kept on telling her to take a rest but she kept on moving on not listening to me.

And, then... it occurs to me again...

Perhaps, sometimes, when we love someone, we need to let them go where they want to go and let them be who they want to be.

There is no point of stopping them simply because of what we believe in...

So, I left my mom along doing what she wants to do for me because I love her and she loves me while we all express our love differently.