What they say about me

I might have mentioned it previously but I just thought it might not hurt for me to reemphasize this thought... inspired by a comment made by my eldest sister whom someone thought was my daughter today... 8-O >-O lol 8-X


Her comment was.. it is not necessary to do what people do... insinuating I have the tendency to do things just because that is what other people do. That might be right or wrong but I don't really care whether it is right or wrong.


What her comment reminded me of was the question I kept on asking myself for the longest time... and along the line of her comment... why can't I stop caring about the contents of my auditory halucinations and delusions, which are often manifested as other people's opinions about me.


Then, in one of the previous posting, I come to question this line of thinking following the psychoanalytical doctrine I know of...


Perhaps, the contents of my hallucinations and delusions are the what you might call "the demon from within" because, having lived so far, many of us would have figured out the patterns of how people react to scenarios or how people think. Eventually, we might internalize these understandings and learn to run simulations in our own head.


In a sense, although "what do they say about me" might be a comment regarding one's insecurity about being oneself and one's desire to confirm, I think, at a deeper level, it shows us the struggles we have about being our own selves.